Jensha AU
by CaffeineChaos243
Summary: AU where Misha and Jensen were never married or had families. They work on the show together and are close friends. Jensen slowly comes to realize how much he cares for the man that's always cared about him.
1. The Convention

"Take off your shirt!" a feminine voice screamed over the crowd. An echoing _whoop_ was followed as people voiced their approval.

 _Great. As if being up here isn't enough, it's going to be one of those crowds._ _Maybe I should just go._

Jensen looked out over the crowd, not pausing on any particular face. _So many people spent months looking forward to this convention. It's so damn expensive to sit in that crowd and watch us. I'm sure a lot of them saved for the longest time. I can't leave because one_ girl _upset me._

Another screaming demand from the crowd made his eyes lower and color rise in his cheeks. "I'm, not- not gonna do that. Thanks though." He stuttered, feeling stupid.

Suddenly screams filled the room and without turning he knew who had joined him on stage. _Finally._ He looked over to find Misha striding towards him, a smile plastered to his face. Jensen narrowed his eyes as Misha reached for him.

Misha's hands grasped either side of Jensen's face and planted a kiss on his cheek, to the pleasure of the crowd. Jensen clenched his jaw to keep his lip from trembling in embarrassment. Misha released his face and patted his shoulder, leaving his warm hand there for support. He took the microphone from Jensen's shaky hands and lifted it to his mouth.

"Ladies and gentlemen, let's be polite now." He purred in a low voice. Screams were mixed with giggles as he kept talking, but Jensen couldn't focus. Before he knew it, Misha was tugging on him, leading him off stage. He made sure to wave at the crowd and give them a fake smile before he ducked away and hurried to his hotel.

Days later, Jensen stood in the scalding shower, his back to the spray as jets pounded on his neck. He felt like crap. He stayed there until the hot water began fading, far too soon for his liking. He stepped out and toweled off, wrapping the towel around his waist as he left the bathroom. He froze when he found the TV on and Misha relaxing on the small couch. Misha looked over with a goofy smile and waved before turning back.

"I uh, I just need clothes." Jensen mumbled as he walked to find his sleep pants and a shirt. He slipped back into the bathroom to dress before leaving; rubbing his neck in hopes the ache would go away.

"How are you doing man?" Misha asked as he sipped something in a silly glass. _That's not my cup…._ Jensen eyed it and wondered what was in it.

"My neck hurts like a friggin' jerk." Jensen said before realizing he slipped into Dean's mind for a second. He sighed and used his other hand to rub his eyes.

"C'mere. I'll help." Misha called eyes still on the TV. Jensen walked over tiredly and waited, unsure of what was happening. Misha tore his gaze from the TV to look up, his blue eyes wrinkled with concern.

"Here." He pointed to the floor in front of him and put both feet on the floor. Jensen shrugged and sank down, resting his back against the small couch. Misha's warm hands appeared on his neck and Jensen resisted the urge to groan at the massage. _He smells like cinnamon again._

Jensen smiled and relaxed back. He could feel the tension leaving his neck in the hands of his best friend. Everyone thought that was Jared's role. It had been, until Misha appeared on set one day. Jensen smiled at the memory. He remembered thinking "What is he doing? Is this in the script!?" But the way Misha spoke, all gruff and gravely, and most of the things he did were cute. _I definitely won't share that thought with anyone._ _Ever._ His thoughts drifted to that day and he wondered what Misha had thought of him.

Jensen felt his head fall to the side as he dozed, and he snapped it back. Misha was leaning back on the couch, watching the ending of the movie.

"Sorry." Jensen mumbled as he stood. His neck felt phenomenally better, but now his back hurt. He sighed and sank onto the other end of the tiny couch. Misha offered him a drink but he declined.

"Do you want to watch last week's episode?" Misha asked with his eyes still glued to the screen, though the credits were now rolling.

"Not really. Kinda annoyed with it."

"Yeah. Me too."

They sat in companionable silence for a while. Jensen turned his thoughts to the show that had taken up so much of his life. It made him, _him._ He had been growing increasingly frustrated with the higher ups. They were taunting the fans. Misha had brought it up a week ago and mentioned the term "queerbaiting". It definitely fit. There were so many tells and signs of a relationship between Cas and Dean, but the writers never outright made it happen. He sighed and looked towards the man a foot away. They had discussed the topic of Destiel, which Jensen found to be a silly name, and both agreed they didn't hate the idea. He knew Misha was pretty cool about everything, so it wasn't a surprise for him.

Misha looked over and copied Jensen's yawn. "They need me up at the crack of dawn to get a scene. I should go. You okay?" His creased brow made him seem younger, which Jensen found odd.

"I'm good, man. Thank you."

Misha stood with a smile and left, the trailer seeming so much quieter without the other man. Jensen wondered idly if it would be better if he worked to find someone to share it with. In all the years he'd had it, he hadn't brought anyone back. Sure he'd dated, but nothing ever moved into seriousness. He sighed and stood, collecting Misha's weird glass and washing it in the small sink before putting it in the cupboard above the tiny stove, right next to the other eight that already resided in there. He shook his head with a smile and made a note to make Misha take them back.


	2. First Kiss

"Let's roll again."

Jensen bit back a growl as he stepped back into place. They'd done the scene eight times already and he was frustrated. He _knew_ they wanted to taunt the fans more with this emotional scene that would wrap the season out. _I'm tired of letting them get away with this crap._

"C'mon, Jensen! Like you mean it!" Robert Singer yelled from behind him. Jensen sighed and stood next to Misha who looked tired in his long trench coat and crooked tie. He resisted the urge to straighten it.

"You know they want more emotion." Misha whispered, leaning towards him as Jensen nodded. _Fine. Dammit._

"Action!"

"You can't do that, Dean." Castiel said with his gravelly voice as he rounded on Dean.

"Yes I can, Cas." Dean shot back, bringing his gaze from his messy bed to the angel in front of him.

"No!" Anger suddenly burned in Cas's eyes as he glared up at Dean. "You can't just leave like that. Sam and-"

"Sammy can look after himself." Dean growled."YOU were the one that left, again. YOU-" Castiel took a step closer, invading Dean's space.

"Cas, we talked ab-" Dean started to say but "personal space" faded from his lips as Cas crushed his mouth to Dean's. Dean froze, until Cas reached up and grasped Dean's face in his warm hands. _Suck on this, damn producers_. Dean kissed back _._

Castiel broke the kiss first and glared up at Dean. " _I_ need to know that you're safe. I couldn't find you, Dean."

Dean took a steadying breath, his heart pounding in his chest. "I'm sorry, Cas. I should have called." He reached up and moved Cas's hands from his cheeks, but didn't let go.

"We can figure this out, but you have to trust Sam and myself." Cas's glare softened slightly and Dean nodded.

"Let's go talk to him." Dean suggested as he pulled Cas from the room by the hand.

Jensen stopped on the far side of the door, a smile ghosting across his features and mirroring the winning one on Misha's face. They both turned to look as Eric yelled across the studio, his voice dripping with anger.

"CUT! What the hell was that!? I said emotion, not a make out session! Roll the damn scene again."

"No." Misha said quietly from behind Jensen, who turned in surprise at the defiance in his voice. They stepped back through the doorway, Misha's hand still grasping Jensen's.

"No, we're tired of your shit and how you've been taunting the fans. You either use that take or you don't get this scene."

Jensen noticed Jared's grin and double thumbs up from behind Robert, but he was too focused on the hand holding his to respond. It wasn't until Misha tugged on Jensen's arm that he refocused on the present and gave Robert a cocky wave before they both left the studio.

"That was great, man." Jensen laughed as they exited the building. Misha nodded, his heart still thundering in his chest. _I can't believe I finally did that._ He turned slowly, waiting for Jensen to get upset. Instead he found Jensen's green gaze on him, a smile still tugging at his mouth.

"Was it?" Misha asked softly. Jensen cocked his head to the side slightly but nodded.

"It was. You know they'll end up using it. They needed that scene and they kept pushing for more emotion. They didn't want the characters to actually take it anywhere. But we did. I think that was perfect. "

Misha stared at him for a moment, waiting for him to mention the kiss that was almost entirely NOT Castiel's doing, but Jensen didn't. So he brushed it off. "Yeah. I hope they go with it! Don't know if I can do that scene again." He turned to go to his trailer so he could calm down.

A warm arm appeared across his shoulders and he glanced sideways at Jensen. His eyes were _so_ bright in the sunshine. _How is it possible to have eyes like that?_ Jensen caught Misha's stare and gave him a heart stopping smile. _Damn._

"Hey Mishka, let's go out for drinks tonight. I don't want to hang around the set." Jensen motioned towards the buildings around them but Misha couldn't get over the giddy butterflies he got when Jensen called him that. _Does he even realize he does it anymore?_ Misha wondered as he listened to Jensen rattle off names of places to go. _It started out as a joke, but he's been saying it more lately._ He realized Jensen asked him something and tried to recall what it was.

"I didn't hear you, sorry." Misha said with a grin as they reached Jensen's trailer.

"I asked if you want to invite anyone else. We can make a big thing out of it. Would be fun, yeah?"

"Oh uh yeah. I'll see who I can scrounge up."

Jensen smiled again before disappearing into his trailer. Misha's shoulders felt cold without the warmth of an arm across them but he soon forgot about it as he turned to change for the night. As he walked he loosened Castiel's blue tie and contemplated leaving it on.

2 a.m. rolled around much faster than Misha had anticipated. The alcohol in his system didn't help with keeping track of time either. He laughed as Jensen tripped over a chair and barely caught himself. He pulled himself up with a laugh and looked down. Jensen's plaid shirt was unbuttoned to reveal a simple black tee underneath and both were damp from the drink he had stolen from Felicia as he walked by.

Misha grabbed a napkin and patted at his shirt, but it was soaked. Jensen's breath smelled heavily of alcohol and Misha wondered how much more the other man had had to drink. Misha couldn't stop staring as Jensen smiled and hollered across the bar. For some reason the lighting inside made Jensen's eyes appear even more green than usual. A woman at the counter turned to Jensen's holler and gave him a predatory smile. Jensen didn't notice though. He never did.

"I'm tapping out." Misha said close to Jensen's ear so he could hear over the commotion of voices. Jensen nodded and clapped Misha's shoulder with one hand before downing one final drink. They bid adieu to Felicia and Jared, not knowing where the rest of the group had gone. Jared winked at Misha as he turned to follow Jensen out. _What is that supposed to mean?_

The radio in the taxi was blaring a rock song that made Jensen's face light up. He broke out in song and Misha sat back against the seat with his eyes closed and listened. _I love his voice. It's so….real._ The trip to their trailers was too short, in Misha's opinion, because the driver turned off the radio and Jensen's smile faltered. Jensen sighed and Misha couldn't tell if it were in contentment or frustration. Misha fished the money from his worn wallet for the driver before he helped steady Jensen as they climbed out.

Misha turned towards his own trailer and took a step before Jensen's arm appeared across his shoulders again. Misha turned to him with a smile. "What? You don't think you can make it to your trailer?"

"Nah. It's ten feet away. I'm just really dizzy." Jensen gave Misha a look before he winked. "Mishka, will you walk me home?" He drawled. Misha hoped the color on his cheeks wasn't visible as he nodded and wrapped one arm around Jensen's middle, content with the way he felt.

Jensen fumbled with his door key and pulled Misha inside. A yawn made Misha's jaw ache and he rubbed at it before removing his shoes and walking to the couch. He plopped down and covered his eyes, already feeling a headache. "Why did I drink so much again?" He asked aloud.

"Because our team was winning and it was fun." Jensen replied from his bedroom.

"Did our team win though?" he tried to remember how many shots he had taken versus how many Moose had.

"Of course." Jensen slurred as he appeared back in the main room, clad in pajama pants. Misha tried not to stare after he uncovered his eyes, but it was hard. He blinked slowly, trying to fix his train of thought.

"I'm gon get some water. You want?"

Misha nodded as Jensen shuffled towards the kitchen. He watched as Jensen selected glasses from the cupboard and filled them, the muscles in his back flexing as he moved. Misha dropped his gaze as Jensen turned around and approached the couch. He handed a faded looking cup to Misha before he leaned down and tossed Misha's legs off the couch so he could sit.

Misha was overtly aware of how close Jensen chose to be. _He's just drunk. He isn't thinking about it. Stop reading into him._ He took a long drink of water and placed his glass on the small table.

"Why don't we watch the episode now?" Jensen motioned towards the tv. Misha had watched it the night before but he didn't care. He wasn't ready to go back to his trailer. He grabbed the remotes from the side table and turned on the tv.

After he found it on the dvr list he sat back, hoping the ache behind his eyes would go away. As the episode started he grinned as Dean shoved pie in his face. He battled to keep his eyes open, but the warmth radiating from Jensen and the sound of Dean's voice on the tv were too much. He realized his eyes were closed before he remembered closing them. A warm arm appearing around his shoulders added to the pleasant dreams he had.

"Cas?" A gruff voice whimpered. Misha's eyes popped open and he froze in the darkness, trying to orientate himself. The call came again and he turned to find Jensen asleep on the couch beside him. Jensen was leaning against the far side of the couch in an awkward angle. He wore a frown as his hand twitched into a fist briefly.

Misha cocked his head to the side. _Really?_ He reached over and placed his hand on Jensen's arm. "It's okay." He called out, not wanting to wake Jensen but also unsure about playing into the dream. Jensen's frown dissolved and his breathing evened out so Misha withdrew his hand. He stretched and was about to stand when Jensen whispered to him. "Stay?"

 _You're the most coherent sleep talker I've ever met._ Misha rolled his eyes but stayed sitting. After a few moments he reached over and gently guided Jensen away from the wall and moved so the other man could lie down. Misha sank onto the carpeted floor with a sigh. Suddenly a hand appeared on his chest. He looked up to find Jensen asleep with his muscular arm dangling off the short couch. Misha smiled and laced their fingers together before quickly falling back asleep.


	3. Arrival In Rome

Jensen woke with an achy neck and a terrible headache. He groaned as he tried to rub his eyes, but his hand was caught on something. Everything slowly lit up as he blinked several times to clear the blurriness before he looked around. The blinds were down, but not closed, so sunlight filtered through and cast lines of light and shadows across the trailer. _Where is my shirt?_ He could feel the early morning air send goosebumps across his bare torso and the scent of lingering alcohol brushed his nose.

He was lying on his stomach, his tall frame uncomfortably cramped on the small sofa. _That explains the neck pain._ One of his arms was supporting his head while the other dangled off the edge. He looked down and saw Misha asleep on the floor. He was sleeping soundly with his palm open under his face. The worry lines that normally adorned his face were gone. Jensen froze when he realized their hands were entwined. He looked at the hands, Misha's were more tan and rough. _He always talks about his marathons and things he's building. I can't believe he has the time for all of that._ A smile tugged at Jensen's lips. _He's such a good person._

Misha's brow furrowed as he reached for his pocket and Jensen froze. Jensen snapped his eyes shut as Misha's blue ones opened. _What are you, 10?_ He tried to even his breathing but his heart was suddenly pounding. He resisted the urge to roll his eyes and give himself away.

"Hello?" Misha said in a gravelly morning voice. Jensen couldn't make out the conversation on the other side of the phone but Misha spoke again quickly.

"I'll be there in twenty or so. Kbye"

Misha groaned and stretched, taking Jensen's arm with him. He struggled to stay limp and fake sleep. Misha's stretch stopped and Jensen felt him shifting. With a sigh, Misha released his hand and arranged it up on the couch near Jensen's face. He could feel Misha pause for a moment before warm fingers brushed across Jensen's cheek.

"Sleep well." Misha whispered before he stood. Jensen waited until the door to the trailer closed before he let his eyes open. He sat up so he could look towards the door, and almost wished his friend would return. _Friend? Is that what we are now?_ Jensen smiled and slowly pulled himself to his feet, entirely too wobbly for his liking. He shuffled to the bathroom to shower and shave.

A day later Jensen knocked on the door to Misha's trailer to deliver good news about the season finale. After several moments of silence he tried again, but there was no response. He turned away, wondering if his phone was fully charged yet, when Kerry, the costume designer, approached.

"Hey Jensen. Misha left already."

"Oh." Jensen tried to keep a smile on his face. "Where did he go?"

"He has a marathon in California then the JIBCON on Saturday…which you have to be at too." She gave him a look. "Are you feeling well?"

"Yeah I'm good. Thank you for your help! Have a good break!"

He stepped away from the trailer as she returned his farewell, and walked away, wondering why Misha left so suddenly. _I guess I should go pack for JIBCON._

Planes always made Jensen nervous. He knew it shouldn't be an issue, but he couldn't help the tightening of panic in his chest as he approached. He knew it was stupid but he made sure to board with his right foot first. _Hasn't failed me yet!_ He stowed his carryon and sank into the seat, working to take even breaths. He heard excited whispers behind him and braced himself for the onslaught of fans but after a few moments they quieted. He gratefully kept his eyes closed and evened out his breathing as he waited for the plane to take off. _Just crossing a huge ass ocean. No big deal. I'm fine._ He wished he weren't sitting alone as the flight attendant appeared to inquire about his wants.

At the final airport Jensen left the plane with shaky steps. He forced a smile for the few fans that recognized him, despite the scruff and low baseball cap, and hurried on. _Just have to get to the hotel and I can rest until tomorrow. I can tell Misha the news! I wonder if Jared knows already too._ As he was waiting for his luggage his pocket began to buzz. He fished his phone out to read the text from Jared.

Supper tonight? Awesome restaurant Richard and I found!

Sounds fine. Time?

7 or 8. I'll talk to you at the hotel. Glad you made it safe ;)

Bitch

Jerk.

He pocketed his phone again and smiled as he looked around for the car. He spotted it and hurried over, eager for a hot shower and hot food.

As he killed time in his hotel room he struggled to avoid eating the snacks he had packed. _Just hold out till supper. Only an hour. You can do it, man._ He strolled to the small balcony and stepped out. The view was breathtaking. He looked around as a breeze blew the sound of laughter past. He looked around at the neighboring balconies and found the source. A couple was lounging on towels in the sun and laughing together.

Jensen looked away, embarrassed to intrude on their moment. He could hear his phone ringing from the bed so he stepped back into his suite. A simple reminder text from Jared left Jensen with a sigh. He pocketed the phone and his wallet and grabbed his dark suit jacket. As he left the room he pulled it on over his dark blue dress shirt. _I hope it isn't a super fancy place._ He shrugged to himself and headed to the elevator.

The restaurant _was_ fancy. Jensen felt out of place as couples walked by him in suits and beautiful gowns. He stuffed his hands in the pockets of his jeans and waited self-consciously for Jared and Rich to show up. He checked his watch for the tenth time, annoyed it was already five past the agreed meet time.

A black car pulled up along the curb and Jensen breathed a sigh of relief. _Finally!_ He waited as the door open, preparing to bitch at Jared once he got out. Instead, Misha's dark hair appeared as he grumbled to himself. He stood and fumbled with his suit jacket, trying to get it on as he turned around and his blue gaze settled on Jensen.

"Hey, man!" Jensen said with a smile as he stepped closer. Misha smiled back as he slid his arm into the sleeve and settled his jacket.

"Where is Rich? He said he was meeting me here."

"Jared told me they were meeting us five minutes ago. I didn't know you were coming. You ran off before I could talk to you the other day."

"Yeah sorry. I wanted to get in some sight-seeing before my marathon." Misha looked away to wave at the driver as the black vehicle pulled away. Jensen let his eyes roam over Misha, amusement and relief the prominent feelings he felt. _Guess I wasn't wrong to wear jeans either._ Misha turned back around before Jensen could lift his gaze and his cheeks warmed. He cleared his throat and motioned to the restaurant.

"Let's get our table. They can join us whenever the hell they arrive." Misha nodded and stepped past as Jensen's pocket began to vibrate. He touched Misha's back to let him know he paused as he pulled it out. Misha was putting his own phone to his ear and rolled his eyes at Jensen.

"Hey, Jared, where are you?" Jensen demanded.

"Oh yeah man. I'm uh, I'm sorry but I won't be able to make it."

"Wait what? This whole thing was your idea."

"Yeah sorry. I uh I'm not feeling well. I'll see you tomorrow at Jib okay?"

"Okay I guess. Feel better."

Jensen hung up and shook his head before Misha's voice caught his attention. "You're bailing on me?"

Jensen looked up to see the frown on Misha's face as he listened to his phone. "Okay well we'll have fun without you!" Misha ended he call and looked at Jensen.

"That was Rich. He is sick and can't make it."

Jensen couldn't help but laugh as he filled Misha in on his call with Jared. Misha's laugh echoed his as Jensen looked around.

"Well, we already have a reservation. Should we eat anyway?"

"Yes because I am starving." Misha motioned Jensen on this time and they entered the beautiful restaurant and waited to be seated.


	4. Ditched For Dinner

Jensen listened with interest as Misha told him about the marathon. In between bites, Jensen tried to say something to let him know he was listening, but it was hard and Misha didn't seem to mind. Jensen looked over as Misha took another drink. He shifted his gaze to his own and realized it was dangerously low. He signaled a waitress for more alcohol and returned his attention to Misha.

His face was slightly sunburned from his time in California and it almost reflected in the red of his tie. Jensen was glad he chose not to wear a tie, but he liked that Misha wore one. Misha's long sleeve dress shirt was several shades darker blue than his own, and the color really looked good on him. Jensen cleared his throat and rubbed at his face to hide the blush that crept onto his cheeks at the thought.

"So you said you had news." Misha said after the waitress refilled their glasses.

"Yes! I spoke with Eric and the rest of the team and they agreed to keep the scene."

Misha's smile lit the table, outshining the overhead lights. "I knew it! He wouldn't have made us reshoot!"

"How did you know?"

"He has a vacation planned and was talking about it for weeks. How we can't be behind schedule and all that. I knew I'd… we'd get away with it."

Jensen smirked and raised his glass. Misha picked up his vodka-whatever-it-was and they toasted to their schemes.

The rest of their dinner went quickly. By the time Jensen finished off his decadent pie he was overfull, but content. The sun had long since disappeared, but he wasn't ready to go back to the hotel room yet. As Jensen returned his card to his wallet, Misha's hand on his back made him look up.

"I'll be right back. Gonna piss."

"Thanks for sharing…." Jensen smirked as he returned his wallet to his jacket pocket. He was too warm and too full so he left, hoping the cool breeze would help. He watched people stroll by and cars pass, feeling content. _It's nice here. Even though I can't understand half the people._

The door opened and Misha appeared, looking around for Jensen. His hair was now spiked with water and Jensen found himself smiling. Misha looked around again with a furrowed brow.

"Did you call a car?"

"Nope. I forgot."

"Oh." Misha pulled out his phone but paused. He gave Jensen a look. "Do you want to walk? It's about a mile or so from here."

"That'd be great. I ate too much."

Misha laughed and pulled up directions on his phone. _I should have him show me how to do that._ Jensen lifted his gaze towards the phone-lit man beside him. He was still wearing his dark suit jacket, though he had loosened his tie. They meandered down the sidewalk silently. Jensen kept his jacket draped over one arm and his hands in his pockets. He was cooling off but not enough.

"So are you ready for Jib tomorrow?" Misha asked as they walked. Jensen shrugged.

"Yeah. I love seeing the fans."

"I do too. I wish we could talk to more of them. But sometimes their clapping is annoying."

"They go on forever! For the dumbest things." Jensen chuckled and looked over. "Thanks for dinner, Mishka." He smirked at the nickname.

"I was going to eat there regardless. I wanted to last year but I never got around to it." Misha smiled.

The hotel was mostly dead when they arrived. Misha led the way to the elevator and Jensen frowned, not ready for the night to be over. He checked his watch, surprised that it was almost midnight. _How long did we eat?_ Misha pushed the same floor that Jensen's room was on and he said as much.

"Are all of us on the same floor?"

Misha shrugged. "I have no idea but it makes sense. I haven't seen anyone else since I got here."

They exited the elevator and started in opposite directions, before pausing and looking at each other. Jensen smiled and motioned him to follow. His room was in the middle of the long hall and he looked around, wondering who was in the adjoining ones.

"Do you want a drink?" Jensen asked as he walked to the fridge. He pulled out the things he had requested earlier then excused himself to the bedroom to change. Misha approached the counter, shrugging out of his jacket as he walked.

Jensen stripped his shirt and tossed it aside before hanging up his jacket. As he reached for his Garth Brooks tshirt, a loud crash and cursing sounded from the main room. Jensen hurried out to find Misha standing with his back to Jensen at the sink, a string of curse words flying from his mouth. He walked over to find shattered glass across the floor.

"Are you alright?"

"No. Dammit." Misha cursed a few more times as Jensen carefully tiptoed over to see what was wrong. A steady stream of blood ran from Misha's hand and dripped into the sink, despite his other hand clamped tightly over it. Jensen turned and grabbed a towel and shooed Misha's hand away so he could place the towel on the cut.

"How did you manage that?" Jensen asked as he pressed the towel against Misha's hand. The cut ran down Misha's palm and onto his middle finger.

"I was pouring them and it just fell. I don't even know."

Misha's voice was tight and flustered. Jensen looked at his friend's face until he returned the look.

"Doesn't explain how you mutilated your hand."

"I tried to clean it up."

"With your hands?"

"Yeah."

Mishka, it's not a big deal. Let's get you fixed up."

"Fine." His brow furrowed even more and Jensen shook his head.

"Here hold this and I'll call for a clean-up and first aid kit." He waited until Misha's hand appeared over his before he let go. _He's a grown ass man. He can hold a washcloth on his own wound._ Jensen pulled himself onto the counter and slid across in order to reach the phone to call the front desk. He had trouble understanding the man's accent but by the time he hung up he was fairly sure they were on their way with what he asked for.

He turned around to find Misha's blue gaze on him. "You doing okay?"

"Yeah. Am now."

Jensen nodded and went to open the balcony doors, too warm again. The cold breeze blew past him and he sighed in relief before turning back to Misha, who was leaning against the counter with his eyes close.

"Are you sure, man? Why don't you come sit down, here." Jensen slipped his boots on and used them to clear a path through the glass. Misha shuffled carefully through the path and sank onto the couch, cradling his hand.

"I probably shouldn't have had so much to drink." Misha murmured as he let his head rest against the wall. Jensen smirked and walked to the tv. _How do I play music through this?_ He pulled his phone out and texted Jared who replied quickly. Then with a smile towards Misha, he blasted Taylor Swift.

Misha jumped and looked over with a wide eyed look that slowly dissolved into a laugh. Jensen couldn't stop laughing either as he listened to the song. When it finally ended, both men in tears, he paused the playlist. They jumped when a fist pounded against the wall.

"Go to sleep, guys! Christ's sake!" Jared yelled from his room, making Jensen and Misha dissolve into fits of laughter again. As Jensen wiped away tears there was a tentative knock on the door. He opened it, slightly annoyed it had taken so long for room service to arrive. He let the woman in and she handed him the first aid kit before going to clean the floor.

Jensen knelt on the floor besides Misha's legs and motioned for the hand. He carefully peeled away the towel and cleaned the cut, glad it wouldn't need stitches or glue. After he wrapped, it, much to Misha's complaints, he boxed the kit up and stood, not having noticed the woman leave.

"Do you want to watch something?" he asked Misha who nodded. Jensen found the remotes and sank onto the couch beside Misha to browse the channels, but Misha was dozing. Jensen picked a random movie and relaxed back onto the couch. _What a night._


	5. Morning Musing

_I need to stop doing this._ Misha thought with a sigh as he studied Jensen's sleeping face on the far side of the hotel room couch. _Need and want are different things though._ His hand throbbed and his head hurt from the alcohol, but he was content. Jensen mumbled something in his sleep and turned away, so Misha stood and went to the bathroom.

He stopped at the sink to wash his hands but his reflection caught his eye and he groaned. "Well shit. _"_ He poked at the blood stains on his favorite dress shirt. With a frustrated sigh he unbuttoned his shirt and ran it under cold water, using the small bar of soap to try and clean it.

Most of the stain came out, but it wasn't until after he was done that he realized he wasn't in his own room. He didn't want to walk to the far end of the hall, from here, without a shirt. He hung his shirt up to dry and walked quietly to Jensen's bedroom to raid his suitcase.

Room service delivered a large breakfast half an hour later. The knock on the door didn't even startle Jensen, who was snoring softly. Misha thanked the woman and brought the food in. He helped himself before he sat at the counter to eat. Jensen still didn't wake up until Misha rinsed crumbs from his plate and the faucet squeaked loudly.

It took Jensen several moments to wake up, and when he did he made a beeline for the bathroom. Misha stole another slice of bacon and walked to the couch. When Jensen returned, seeming more awake and now wearing a shirt, he paused at the food on the counter.

"I ordered stuff. I was hungry." Misha called, grinning at the way Jensen jumped.

"Oh. Christ. Alright." Jensen said as he walked to the fridge for a drink. Misha lounged back on the couch and turned on the tv. He could see Jensen sorting through the remaining platter of food before he walked over and plopped heavily onto the couch at Misha's feet. He looked over and paused then frowned.

"What?" Misha asked.

"Is that my shirt?" Jensen asked with a furrowed brow. Misha looked down at the country music artists shirt and nodded.

"Mine was bloody."

"Oh. Okay." Jensen looked to his food and took a bite before he nodded towards Misha. "It looks good on you."

Misha grinned and picked a show to watch as they killed time until JIBCON.


	6. JIBCON 1

Signing autographs was so tiring. It had been at least an hour already and Jensen was ready to be done for now. He rubbed at his eyes as another girl approached the far side of the table. She wore various Supernatural merchandise and he could even see the top of the anti-possession tattoo under her collarbone. _Maybe I should get a real one._ Jensen smiled over at her as she stammered her greeting awkwardly.

"What's your name, sweetheart?" He asked, pausing. She smiled at him.

"Me-Melanie. But it's not for me. I want you to address it to Anna."

"Oh and who is Anna?" He asked as he scrawled across the page.

"She's my little sister, but she's in the hospital in the end stages of cancer." He looked up with a frown but she was still smiling. "We saved up for years to go to a convention and she never got to. But I'm here now, and I promised I would get yours and Misha's autographs. She absolutely adores you two."

Jensen's heart ached. He stood and walked around the table. "Can I give you a hug?" He asked down at the girl. _She can't be older than 20?_ She nodded as tears welled in her eyes and he pulled her into a hug.

As she tightened her arms around him he looked down the table and waved until he caught Misha's eye, then motioned him over. Misha apologized to the fan he was talking with and approached, Jensen released Melanie so he could step close enough to whisper in Misha's ear.

"Her sister is in the hospital with cancer. She never got to meet us, and won't. We need to do something, yeah?"

Misha stepped back slightly and looked over at Melanie with a furrowed brow, but Jensen could tell he was upset. He pulled Melanie into a hug and asked for her phone. She scrambled to pull it out of her bag and then listened as Misha asked her to open the camera. Jensen followed and stood behind the girl as she did so.

Misha's warm arm appeared around Jensen's back and Jensen copied him as he placed his hand on Melanie's arm. She raised her phone and snapped several selfies before turning around and burying her face between them. Jensen smiled at Misha and then leaned down.

"Can we talk to her?" He asked once Melanie stopped crying. She nodded and quickly dialed a number before handing it to Jensen. The line rang and rang before a raspy voice answered.

"Mel, did you see them?" Anna asked. Jensen smiled, though he suddenly had a lump in his throat.

"Not quite." He said and heard an audible gasp from the other end. "Anna, this is Jensen. I have Misha here too."

"Oh my God." Anna breathed out hoarsely.

"No he's at the far end of the table." Jensen smiled as a light laugh drifted through the cell phone. "We wanted to call and tell you how much we care and appreciate your support. Is there anything we can do for you?" He asked, trying to imagine what a dying girl could possibly need from him.

She laughed again, though it sounded like she was crying. Misha stepped closer and put his head against Jensen's to hear as she finally rasped out her reply. "Can, Can Mel take a pic of you two?" "She got several of us all together already." Jensen replied as he watched the floor, aware of how many people were watching from both sides of the table.

"I mean…sorry, this is dumb. Um….can she get a picture of you two as if you were together."

"Oh." Jensen face heated as Misha smiled at him, laughter dancing around the edges of his eyes.

"Sorry, no it's dumb." Anna backtracked but Misha stole the phone from Jensen.

"Anna, Misha here, no it is not dumb. If it's something you want, then you shall get it! But I have to hang up to do it."

Jensen couldn't hear what Anna said but it made Misha laugh loudly before he nodded and bid her goodbye. He handed the phone back to Melanie, who was wiping away tears. She started to open the camera again but Jensen stopped her.

"No, we'll use the professional one. No cost, okay?"

He turned to Misha, who looked over after waving down a cameraman. "What did she want us to do?" He asked, and the devilish look that appeared on Misha' face made Jensen's eyes narrow.

"Mish-" Suddenly Misha was there, his lithe body pressed against Jensen's as he was cut off with a kiss. Cas doing it was one thing, but _Misha_ doing it in the middle of a con of all places. _Shit._

Jensen realized he was kissing back as bright flashes made spots appear behind his eyelids. _What the hell?_

Misha stepped back as a line of _whooooooops_ filled the area. He laughed as he turned to the cameraman, who gave them a thumbs up. Jensen stood there dumbstruck for several moments before Melanie reached over and hugged him.

"You have no idea how much she will love this. Thank you so much." He hugged her back then watched as Misha hugged her too. As she collected her autographed photos and walked away Jensen turned to Misha, who was already returning to his seat, that impish grin still on his face. _Oh I need a drink to handle this shit._

Jensen returned to his seat, feeling more energized than before. He reached up and wiped at his mouth with the back of his hand, but that didn't erase the feeling of Misha's lips on his. He focused his thoughts as the next set of fans approached the table, all giggling and holding pictures to sign.

One thing he did not expect to happen was the bombardment of questions about himself and Misha being a couple once they reached the panel portion of JIBCON. He reassured everyone that it was a special fan request and that was it. He found the questions about the season finale kiss to be easier to answer, seeing as how he honestly didn't know what would come of that.

Thankfully Misha took the spotlight for those questions, and Jensen sat back and watched him as he spoke. _He's always so earnest when he talks to them._ Jensen found himself smiling as a fan requested the puppy dog eyes look. Misha obliged and then turned to Jensen with the same look.

"He's such a puppy, isn't he?" Jensen asked into the microphone, and an uncountable amount of yesses responded. One fan noticed the bandages on Misha's hand. Misha laughed once and looked at his hand as if to remind himself, but Jensen spoke first.

"Yeah, _Misha,_ tell them how that happened." He smirked as Misha fake glared at him.

"Well the thing is…" Misha began before winking at Jensen. "I was at his hotel room last night-" He was interrupted by hundreds of screams and Jensen's face heated.

"You little shit." Jensen said into the microphone lowly. Misha laughed even harder and waved the crowd down.

"I was there and the glasses that I was going to use THREW themselves onto the ground. Being the smart one that I am, I reached down to pick them up and cut my hand."

"I came out of the bedroom-" More screams cut him off and he regretted his word choice. "And he had blood running down his hand and was cursing up a storm. He _is_ a smart one." Jensen smiled sweetly over at Misha, the excitement of the crowd fueling his good mood.

"Anyway, I'm fine. All bandaged up." He waved his bandaged hand and the picture of him standing over the sink, upset with himself, flashed into Jensen's head. He swallowed and looked down at the microphone, unsure of the emotion he felt.

Misha was asked a question about the show and Jensen tried to make himself focus. He looked back over as Misha adjusted how he was sitting and laughed at whatever the guy in the audience said. Misha looked back over at Jensen, the leftover laugh still around his eyes. Jensen grinned at his contagious smile and looked around as another fan addressed him.

"What's in store for Dean next season?" the woman asked. Jensen had a hard time seeing her clearly from the lighting so he just looked in her general direction.

"I honestly don't know. There has been a few ideas tossed around but the writers are working furiously to come up with something."

"Do you think Destiel will become canon?" She asked, and the entire room quieted.

"Uh, I am not sure." He replied. "Misha?"

Misha shrugged with a nod. "It could! I think it's a very real possibility at this point. But like Jensen said, I'm not sure where they'll take it. We'll all just have to wait and see. OH! And if you follow me on twitter then I'll be sure to let everyone know as soon as I do." He added with a smirk. The room cheered as the staff signaled their time was almost over.

After the closing ceremonies, Jensen headed to his hotel room for a nap. He was exhausted even though he was still pumped from the high he always got at Cons. He turned his phone off and collapsed into his bed, asleep within minutes.

A pounding startled him awake. He groaned as he sat up, his head killing him. After a stop in the bathroom he shuffled to the door as more pounding sounded from the far side. "Hold on!" He hollered through the door as he unlocked it.

The door opened to reveal a disheveled Misha. He stared at Jensen with wide eyes that made Jensen's heart flutter- in panic or pleasure he couldn't tell. "Jensen where the hell have you been?" Misha almost yelled as he reached down and grabbed Jensen's arm. Before he could be pulled from the hotel room, Jensen dug his bare heels into the carpet and placed an arm on the door frame, halting them.

"Misha what is going on?" He asked, wide awake now.

"I've been trying to call you and find you for an hour! I thought you were in the car too!" Misha said as he spun around, his blue eyes still wide.

"What car?"

"Jared and Rich were leaving the Convention and their car was struck. Rich was thrown from the car and is in critical condition. We haven't heard about Jared yet."

Jensen froze, his ears not processing what was being said. Misha repeated himself but his words were muddled to Jensen. He stared into Misha's eyes, trying to form a thought. It wasn't until warm hands appeared on either side of Jensen's face that he was able to focus his gaze.

Misha stared up at him with his furrowed brow and worry filled eyes. "Jensen." He said softly. Jensen nodded slightly to let him know he heard. "Let's go to the hospital, okay?" Misha asked. Jensen nodded again and started for the door, breaking Misha's grasp on his face. A hard tug on the back of Jensen's shirt made him look over his shoulder to find Misha grasping the fabric in his fist.

"You aren't wearing shoes." Misha pointed out softly. Jensen hurried in and put some on before rejoining Misha at the door way. As the door shut behind them, Misha placed his hand on Jensen's arm.

"I'm really thankful you're okay." Misha said as he looked at Jensen from the corner of his eyes. Jensen tried to give him a reassuring smile but all he could think about was Jared and Rich.


	7. Sleep Deprived

Misha watched as Jensen's yawn made his jaw pop. The empty coffee cups near Jensen's feet fell as Jensen shifted his long legs. The coffee they had consumed over the past 26 hours was giving Misha awful jitters, but he needed to stay up. He needed to be here for Jensen and Jared. He shifted his achy eyes to the bed where Jared lay, still unconscious.

Jared's head was wrapped and his eyes were bruised and swollen. Misha wondered tiredly if they shaved his hair, and smirked at the thought of Jared's reaction if he woke up. _No. WHEN he wakes up._ Misha corrected himself. One of Jared's arms was in a thick cast and they'd been told he was extremely lucky not to have died.

Misha let his forehead rest on the back of the chair he was sitting backwards in. It was padded and not completely awful, and he found himself dozing. The doors slid open with a very quiet _whoosh_ and Jared's doctor stepped in.

Doctor Sanderson was Jensen's height without her heels. Her long blonde hair was pulled into a professional looking bun. She gave Misha a smile as she slipped into the room and approached him. He looked over to the bed and realized Jensen was asleep. His legs were stretched out and his arms folded across his chest. His head rested against the wall above the chair back and his mouth had fallen open slightly. Misha couldn't help the smile that sprouted from the sight.

"Sorry if I woke you." She said with a thick accent. Misha shrugged and stood.

"Any news on Rich?" He asked as he rubbed his temples.

"Unfortunately no. He was flown to a bigger hospital that is better equipped to handle his critical condition."

Misha nodded and motioned to the bed. "Any chance this knucklehead will wake up before I drop dead of exhaustion?"

"It's impossible to say with head wounds. I'm sorry ."

Misha glanced sideways at her and followed her gaze which distinctly rested on Jensen's sleeping form. A small bubble of jealously rose in his stomach.

"Well I think I'm going to get some sleep then." He announced with a loud yawn. She nodded and tore her gaze away from Jensen.

"I will make sure you are called when he awakes."

"Thank you." Misha said before striding over to Jensen, jealousy the most prominent emotion he felt. He knew the doctor was still there as he lightly brushed his fingers down Jensen's temple and murmured his name.

"Jensen, wake up. Let's go back to the hotel."

Jensen's eye cracked open and searched Misha's face, and Misha had a moment of panic that the other man had been awake the whole time. Jensen yawned and nodded, not acknowledging anything. The doctor left the room and they began gathering their things. Misha cast several glances Jensen's way, waiting for something to be said. Ash Misha shouldered their one bag and adjusted his grasp on their garbage, Jensen paused near the bed and whispered to Jared, though Misha could hear.

"You gotta pull through man. I need my brother with me. I can't do this alone. Ca- Misha and I are going to get some rest but we will be back the second you wake up, okay? Just please wake up."

As they left the room, Misha let himself relax. He put a reassuring hand on Jensen's shoulder and Jensen leaned into it slightly. _He's just tired and upset. Don't read into it._

Back at the hotel and in his own room, Misha stripped off Jensen's t-shirt and the rest of his clothes before stepping into the hot shower. His fading sunburn stung but his muscles relaxed immediately. He stayed in until the water cooled off, then he wrapped the towel around his waist and went to the bed to sit as he rewrapped his hand.

The cut seemed so minor now. He cut his hand, and Richard went through a windshield. Misha could only imagine what he looked like. He silently prayed that both of his friends would pull through. He didn't remember lying down, but suddenly there was a pillow under his head and his eyes were too heavy to respond to orders. He gave in to the much needed sleep after shifting the blankets around and burrowing into them.

The room was dark when Misha's eyes fluttered open. He groaned at the stiffness throughout his body from the heavy sleep. Memories of the past few days crashed back to him as "Freebird" by Lynyrd Skynyrd sounded from his phone on the nightstand. He scrambled to get it before the call ended.

"Jensen?" He asked through his severe dry mouth. He worked to wet his mouth as Jensen replied.

"It's about time. I tried calling you twice now. Can you let me in?"

"Oh uh yeah give me a minute"

The call ended and Misha laid back on the bed with a sigh. _So no news, or he would have said something._ He rolled out of bed and looked down, remembering he hadn't gotten dressed. His towel was still entangled in the sheets so he hurried to find boxers and pajama pants before heading to the door.

Jensen filled the doorway as Misha pulled open the door. _Was it that heavy yesterday?_ He frowned as he glanced to the windows.

"What time is it?" He asked, his voice cracking from sleep.

"Oh uh…like 4?"

"In the morning?" Misha asked as the door shut with a _thud_.

"Yeah. Sorry." Jensen ran one of his hands through his hair as he plopped on the couch. Misha frowned and joined him.

They sat in companionable silence for a while before Misha found himself dozing again. As he pried his eyelids open for the fifth time, Jensen cleared his throat.

"I had a dream that I was there with them." He said softly. Misha could tell he was struggling to talk about it.

"I couldn't do anything. I saw the other car coming and they didn't hear me yell and then afterwards I was running to Jared but I was moving in slow motion. I couldn't help him. They both died before I could reach them."

"It was a dream." Misha reminded him softly and Jensen nodded.

"I know. But it felt so real. I tried going back to sleep but I could feel the anxiety eating away at me and I didn't want it to escalate. I'm sorry I woke you, I couldn't go to Jared."

"Jensen, you never have to apologize for something like that." Misha said as he caught Jensen's gaze. "I mean it. I will _always_ be here if you need me, okay?"

"Thanks, man." Jensen said softly before looking away. Misha let it rest at that, but there was so much more he wanted to say.

"Why don't you go lay down on the bed and rest some more. I'm pretty awake now. I don't think I can fall asleep if I wanted to. I'll monitor the phones and let you know ,okay?"

"I'm not going to say no. I'm so tired." Jensen gave him a half smile and stood. He fished his phone from his pocket and handed it to Misha, who put it on the table near his. Misha waited until he heard the bedroom door shut before breathing out a slow breath. The couch was significantly colder without Jensen. After turning the phone volume up, Misha laid down on the couch and was quickly asleep again.

A ringing grudgingly pulled Misha from sleep. He fumbled for the phone and answered sleepily. "Hello?"

"Is this Mr. Ackles?"

"Uh yeah." Misha sat up as his head cleared.

"This is Dr. Sanderson. I wanted to let you know that Jared is awake and asking for you."

"Oh that's amazing! I'll be there right away."

"I'll let him know."

Misha hung up with a smile and looked towards the bedroom before standing and hurrying to tell Jensen the good news. When he entered the bedroom, he found Jensen sprawled across the entire queen sized bed. One of his feet hung off and he was snoring softly.

Misha approached and reached down, gently shaking him. "Jensen get up."

"Don't wanna." Jensen mumbled back and Misha laughed.

"Hey, hedgehog hair. Jared is awake. Get up." Misha said as he pulled the blankets off the bed. Jensen opened one eye to peer at him. A smile appeared on his lips as he looked up at Misha, and Misha couldn't help smile in response.

"He's awake!" Misha repeated and reached down a hand. Jensen took his outstretched hand and came smoothly to his feet as Misha pulled him up.

"Is he okay?" Jensen asked as Misha went to find clean clothes.

"He's asking for you. I'm taking that as a good sign."

"That is a good sign. Hurry up and get clothed." Jensen said before disappearing into the bathroom.

"Brush your hair!" he called as he rolled his eyes and pulled a pair of jeans from his suitcase. He could hear Jensen's chuckle over the running water of the sink.


	8. Misha To The Rescue?

"Are you sure there's nothing I can do, man?" Jensen asked for the twentieth time. Jared glared at him from the chair in the living room of his and Gen's house.

"No, I promise I'm fine."

Jensen nodded but looked around. There had to be something he could do to help them. He'd been useless the entire time Jared spent in the hospital in Rome. His gazed settled back on Jared who was watching TV. His arm was propped up with a pillow and the cut along his forehead wasn't swollen and bloody anymore. His eyes still held bruising but he was looking better with each day.

It had been two weeks since the car accident. Thankfully both men had pulled through. Rich was still in the hospital in Rome but his wife had flown out to help and be there for him. Jensen had followed Jared home to help, but he just felt in the way.

Jensen meandered into the kitchen where he washed the dishes then looked around with a sigh. His phone started buzzing in his pocket so he dug it out. A picture Misha had taken of himself flashed across the screen as the phone vibrated and Jensen answered it.

"Hey, man."

"Hey, what are you up to?" Misha asked, sounding out of breath.

"Uh, dishes. You?"

"I need your help. Get your things and come outside."

Jensen frowned and walked to the front door, where surely enough Misha stood leaning against the driver's door of a little car. "Um…okay." Jensen hung up and looked to the living room, where Jared's snores could be heard from all parts of the house. _He doesn't need me. He has Gen. And other friends closer. I can come back if he asks._ Jensen walked to the room they designated as his to gather his things.

As Jensen settled into the passenger seat of the small car he looked over at Misha, who was typing away on his cellphone. Jensen watched as his fingers flew across the touch screen keyboard before letting his gaze wander. Misha was wearing an open button up flannel with a light grey t-shirt underneath that clung across his chest. The flannel's arms were rolled up and showed off the bulge of his biceps. After a moment Misha looked over at him from under his dark aviator sunglasses. _Those look great on him._ Jensen found himself thinking.

"So, you ready for this?" Misha asked. Jensen scratched at his hiatus beard, noting that Misha's wasn't as thick as his own.

"I don't know what "this" is, but I'm assuming Jared asked you to make me leave." Jensen replied.

"He called, yes. But I wanted your help anyway." Misha returned his attention to his screen before lifting the phone. Jensen gave him a look before looking at the phone and noting it said "Going live"

"Wait, Misha…" Jensen tried to stop him but suddenly they were live. Misha flashed a smile at the camera and Jensen glared at him before smiling too.

"Morning, Mishamigos! I'm here with Jensen on our way to the Double K marathon fundraiser! We wanted to stop by and let everyone know we'll be there by 1 ish and hope you are all there too! It's a great cause and we're really looking forward to is, aren't we Jensen?"

Jensen shook his head while smiling. "I have no idea what's going on. He kidnapped me. Someone send help." He grunted when Misha's elbow connected with his chest but through his chuckle he mouthed "Send help!"

"Ignore him. He's fine. Oh and Jared is doing well! He sends his love. Anyway, we have a long drive so we'll see everyone soon! Love you guys! Bye!"

"Bye!" Jensen chimed in as he rubbed his chest. Misha ended to video and turned to Jensen.

"You're such a shit."

"I get it from you." Jensen replied as he put his seat belt on. Misha shook his head and started the car. Jensen reached behind Misha's seat to dig through his bag for his baseball cap. He situated it on his head as they pulled out of Jared's driveway.

"So really. What are we doing?" Jensen asked as he relaxed back into the seat. Misha glanced over at him with a mischievous smile.

"A marathon."

"I don't do marathons. You're the runner."

"Not today!"

Jensen stared at Misha. "I am not running a marathon, Misha. I'll die."

"I won't let you. You'll be fine. Having you there will motivate the fans to participate and we'll raise more money."

"What's the fundraiser for?"

"The family of the girls from the con. Melanie and Anna."

"Wait, but they were in Rome." Jensen said confused.

"Yeah but I'm not going to organize a fundraiser over there. Besides after the photos got out they have a huge following and people want to help. Proceeds will be split between their family and others with young cancer warriors."

"What photos?"

"The photos Anna requested."

"Oh." To say he had forgotten that kiss was a lie. But he tried not to think about it…a lot.

Jensen grew quiet. He looked over at Misha as he focused on driving. He had trouble processing the emotions he felt, but he knew he was thankful to call the kind human beside him his best friend. Misha looked over at him and Jensen smiled softly.

"Okay. Let's do this."

"Good. But it's a 6 hour drive so don't get too excited."

"Works for me. I'm going to nap." Jensen said as he reclined his seat. As he settled his baseball cap lowly over his eyes and turned to his side as much as he could he has a clear view of Misha. Misha turned the radio on and sang softly along as Jensen watched him until his eyes drifted close.


	9. Double M Marathon

Jensen was dying. He gasped for breath as he forced his burning legs to move. _Just keep going. You can do it._ He chanted to himself with each step. His side hurt and each breath was painful but he kept going. His eyes were glued to Misha's sweat-soaked back in front of him. _He_ hadn't faltered once and even though he was jogging too, he wasn't panting as badly as Jensen. _He does this all the damn time._

Jensen knew Misha was going slowly for him. Misha kept glancing behind him to make sure Jensen was there, and he would slow if he started to pull ahead. He paused every time a group of fans were handing out water along the side of the trail so Jensen could rest and people could take pictures with them. _Why does he have to be so amazing?_

"We're almost done, Jensen." Misha called back and Jensen nodded while motioned Misha on.

"Don't have to stay with me. Go on." Jensen said breathlessly. Misha slowed so he could fall into step with Jensen.

"We've gotten this far together. We can finish it." He said as he waved to a small group of people along the side of the road. They waved back and screamed happily and Jensen found himself smiling.

"Oh I see." Misha said with a smirk. Jensen gave him a look.

"You just need someone to scream for you." Misha grinned over at him suggestively. Jensen made a noise, but he wasn't sure if it was a laugh or a snort. Misha's chuckle filled the air and Jensen smiled in response.

The finish line was surrounded by people screaming encouragement and their names. Jensen waved at them as his side burned and he pushed himself the last ten feet. As they crossed the finish line, Misha's arm snaked around Jensen's waist and helped keep him up. Jensen put his around Misha's shoulders and leaned on him as they stumbled to a stop.

"I hate you." He panted as he closed his eyes and tried to calm his erratic heart. Misha squeezed his side.

"I hate you too." Misha whispered and Jensen shook his head. Someone handed them water and Jensen took one thankfully. He guzzled half of the bottle before looking over at Misha who had his eyes closed as his face was lifted towards the hot sun above them. With a smirk Jensen stood up and dumped the rest of his water in Misha's face.

Misha gasped and jumped back. As the water cleared from his eyes he stared at Jensen with an incredulous look before slowly opening his water bottle. Jensen smirked and took a step backwards, ready to bolt from the attack. Misha's arm snapped forward and water shot towards Jensen, who side stepped it. A screech from behind him made him turn to find a fan on the sideline with dripping hair. He laughed, which made her laugh too.

Before he realized what was happening, water was being thrown everywhere. Jensen dodged around some, though he didn't know why. The water felt amazing against his sweat soaked flesh. As a woman behind the line tossed a bucket of water towards him, he jumped backwards which resulted in him slamming into somebody. They both toppled to the ground as Jensen laughed. He turned to find Misha sprawled on the ground, completely soaked and laughing so hard he couldn't breathe.

They laid on the ground laughing and watched the chaos around them as more runners crossed the finish and were assaulted with water. It seemed most had forgotten the two men on the ground and it was nice, nice to be unnoticed for once. Jensen rolled so he could scoot closer to Misha, who looked over at him as he wiped tears from his eyes.

"Thank you for this, Misha." Jensen said with a smile. "This has helped a lot." Misha winked at him before they both flinched when water appeared from above. A young girl ran away with a shrill giggle as they wiped warm water from their faces.

"I got them! I got them!" She screeched.

Jensen laughed again and lay back down. He was aware of their arms touching but it was nice. Nice to be close to someone in a chaotic crowd where he was momentarily forgotten. He looked over to find Misha staring at him. _Well if that isn't a Castiel eyesex look I'll be damned._ Jensen held the blue gaze until someone called out Misha's name, asking for help with something. Misha's hand was around Jensen's wrist, though he didn't remember it happening. Misha squeezed his wrist briefly before he was up and walking away, towards a woman with a clipboard. Jensen sighed and watched him go, not ready for the moment to end.

An hour and a half later, Jensen was shadowing Misha as he weaved through the crowd to finish up with whatever it was he was doing. Jensen was content to just watch as Misha interacted with people in the crowd. They had showered and changed at a nearby hotel, and Misha wore a blue button up that seemed a little too big on him. His aviators were back along with a shiny gold crown that a young fan had made. Jensen wore a similar one but he thought Misha looked better in his.

After Misha spoke with the clipboard woman, Jenna as Jensen found out, he turned around. "So, it's almost 6 now. Do you want to go eat?"

"Do I ever _not_ want to eat?" Jensen replied with upturned hands. Misha shook his head with a smirk and bid farewell to Jenna.

Leaving took much longer because they were constantly stopped by people wanting hugs, autographs, or pictures. Jensen really didn't mind though. He treasured all of the love from the Supernatural family. He enjoyed hearing their stories and especially watching Misha interact with them. He found himself smiling more often than not when he glanced over at the other man.

They finally made it out of the post-marathon crowd by 7, and Jensen's stomach grumbled angrily in the silence of the parking lot. They reached Misha's car and both collapsed into their seats with sighs. After several minutes Misha turned to Jensen.

"Where do you want to eat?"

"Bed would be nice. I'm so tired." Jensen replied with closed eyes.

"We could do room service at the hotel?" Misha suggested and Jensen nodded. _I could use a hot shower and food. Then I'm going to sleep for three days._

They drove the short distance to their hotel, only to find it completely packed. They approached the front desk with their bags in tow. Misha gave them his name and they handed over two room keys. Jensen took his and followed Misha.

It wasn't until they were outside of a door on the third floor that Jensen realized he didn't know where his room was. He was about to ask when Misha opened the door in front of him and motioned Jensen in.

The room held two queen sized beds that were sectioned off through a door. The main area held a small kitchen, a dining table, and a TV and couch. Jensen dumped his bag on the table and stretched. "So just one room, eh?"

"Yeah they're so busy. I couldn't get two rooms. Just be glad I managed to get two beds." Misha smirked over as he dug through his bag. Jensen rolled his eyes and picked his bag up as he darted towards the bathroom.

"Dibs on the shower! Order me some food!" He called before closing the door. Misha's groan was loud enough that Jensen could hear it through the door. He caught his reflection in the mirror and laughed at the lopsided crown on his head. He took it off and set it on the counter before turning the water to scalding.


	10. Pizza Man

For Misha, the summer was going by too quickly. Another month had passed and he felt like it was just yesterday that he and Jensen were sharing a hotel room after running the Double K marathon. He wadded up the t-shirt he had just stripped off and pitched it towards the back of Jensen's head.

Jensen was engrossed in the show he had on the hotel room television and didn't see the attack until the shirt lightly fell against the back of his head. He jumped, making Misha laugh. Jensen turned around with a glare that had little effect since a wince followed. Misha only felt slightly bad as he walked over to the couch.

"You should be icing you know." Misha said as he pointed at the unused ice pack on the arm of the couch. Jensen nodded and repositioned his arm across his bruised chest. They had just finished helping rebuild homes in a town that had been hit by a tornado. Jensen had fallen from the roof of one and cracked a rib, among a few more minor injuries. Misha swallowed away the lump in his throat at the panic that had flooded his body as he watched Jensen fall.

"I'll be fine, man. Quit worrying." Jensen drawled. Misha raised an eyebrow at him.

"Did you get drunk in the time it took me to change my pants?" He asked, realizing he could have worded that better.

"No. I'm just tired." Jensen shooed Misha out of the way of the television. Misha sighed and took the ice pack that he had braved the intense mid-west summer heat to retrieve and put it in the freezer. He ordered their pizza before he walked back to the main room of the hotel. He leaned against the wall and found himself watching Jensen.

A small smile held up the edges of Jensen's mouth as he watched the show. His green eyes scanned he television screen as his free hand absentmindedly played with a loose string on the couch. He was still shirtless and Misha's face heated slightly when he recalled the struggle it had been to remove the layers of Jensen's shirts. He closed his eyes and made himself _not_ think about the closeness and bare skin and the way Jensen had leaned his head on Misha's shoulder afterward or how he smelled like leather even when he wasn't on set.

"Hey Misha?" Jensen called and Misha's eyes snapped open to find that gorgeous green gaze on him. "You okay?"

"I'm fine." Misha replied quickly before striding to the couch to sit down. The small couch was old and the cushioned sagged awfully, which made them sink towards each other. Misha sighed as he tried to move away. _Personal space, right?_ He pictured Dean saying.

"Well this couch is cozy." Jensen chuckled as he lifted his arm and placed it across the back of the couch so it wouldn't be pinned. Misha wanted to just sink against him and stay there, but he tried to give him space. He wasn't going to force Jensen into something he wasn't ready for. No way.

"This couch is annoying as fuck." Misha murmured under his breath as he gave up. The couch would be more comfortable without the cushions all together. He sighed and leaned back; forgetting Jensen's arm was there until after his head rested against it. He sat back up, embarrassed.

"Just sit still, would you?" Jensen mumbled with a wince though his eyes never left the screen. Misha froze, feeling bad. He tentatively sat back again and let his head lean back against the muscled headrest behind him. He waited for Jensen to make a comment about snuggling or to take his arm away, but he didn't. Jensen watched the television and Misha watched Jensen from the corner of his eyes. Before he realized it, his eyes had closed.

A hard knock on the hotel door startled Misha awake from a very pleasant dream. He took a moment to familiarize himself with his location before he quickly realized he had a boner from the dream. His face flamed as he also realized he was leaning against Jensen instead of the back of the couch. He sat up and tried to not be totally obvious as he covered himself. _Thank god for jeans._ He stood and went to the door for the pizza.

Once the pizza boxed were on the counter he mumbled an excuse about needing a shower and darted to the bathroom. He turned the water on and stripped, his dick feeling better once it was free. He stepped into the water and worked himself while remembering the dream.

Jensen in Dean's leather jacket, pushing him against a wall and hungrily kissing him. A hotel room with only them and their bare skin. Jensen moaning his name. He realized he was moaning in response and quickly silenced himself, gritting his teeth to keep the noise down. He came right as the bathroom door opened, making him jump and almost fall.

"Hey man, sorry I just need to pee." Jensen muttered as he walked in. Misha tried to hide his ragged breaths but he struggled to. He closed his eyes, thankful for a darker shower curtain compared to the normal white, see through ones. He waited in silence, trying to _not_ think about Jensen sliding off his jeans and joining him. _Oh shit._ He felt that desire building again and knew his shower was going to be longer than planned. _I just want my pizza._ He groaned as the door closed behind Jensen. He rested his forehead against the wall as water beat down across his shoulders.


	11. Entertain Me

Jensen tried to take a calming, deep breath as he stopped outside of the bathroom door but his chest hurt too much. He could still hear Misha's soft moans and _damn_. Why did that turn him on so much? He closed his eyes and wondered what would happen if he were to go back in and get into the shower with him. He froze when he realized what he had just thought. _Are you really thinking about your best friend in that way?_ He shook his head, trying to collect his thoughts from where they were pooling in his groin.

By the time a shirtless, sodden haired Misha appeared from the bathroom, Jensen had finished off half a pizza. He burped loudly and stood from the table, wincing at the sharp pain in his chest. He saw Misha's worried look from his peripheral but ignored it. He was _fine._ He shuffled to the couch and tried to sit down without grunting in pain. All he had done the whole day was watch TV. He was so tired of it. He looked over at Misha in hopes of some form of entertainment.

"Hey Mishka." He called, smirking because he could see the color rise in Misha's cheeks from the couch. Over the summer he had noticed more and more how much he could affect the other man. He liked it. Misha looked over as he took a bite of pizza.

"We need to do something besides TV, man. I'm so bored."

"You can barely walk without grunting like a caveman." Misha mumbled with his mouth full. Jensen shrugged, and immediately regretted it.

"Entertain me."

Misha rolled his eyes and washed his pizza down with another beer. "What you want me to pole dance for you?" He asked as he set the bottle on the wooden table.

"If you want to." Jensen replied then laughed at Misha's look of surprise. _He wasn't expecting that answer. Ha._

"I can do accents for you, but I'm not going to dance." Misha declared as he reached for more pizza. Jensen grinned. He _did_ like Misha's accents, but they were funnier when fueled by a crowd. He pulled his phone from his pocket as Misha ate another slice of pizza.

"Isn't it crazy to think we only have a week left before we go back to start filming again?" Misha asked suddenly. Jensen looked up from his phone to nod.

"Yeah. This summer flew." He paused and caught Misha's eyes. "Thank you for keeping me so busy. I needed it."

"I'm glad you tagged along. You can run a 5k now without dying." Misha grinned. His hair was starting to dry and stick up crazily again.

"Can and will are totally different words." Jensen muttered. He looked back down at his phone to avoid thinking about combing Misha's hair. It was another ten minutes before Misha stood from the table and went to the bedroom half of their hotel suite. Jensen had gotten used to sharing a suite with him versus two separate rooms. He preferred it, actually. _I have fewer nightmares when he's around._ He shook his head.

Misha reappeared clad in one of Jensen's AC/DC t-shirts and headed for the door. As he slipped his shoes on he asked, "I'm going to hit up the grocery store that's across the street. What do you want?"

"To not be bored as hell."

"From the store."

"Some form of entertainment."

Misha sighed through his nose and tossed a fake glare over his shoulder before leaving. Jensen looked around the overly silent hotel room. After a moment he turned music on from his phone, wanting to drown out the silence.

Three hours later, Jensen was pleasantly buzzed. He could breathe a little less painfully than the past day too, which helped with his mood. He set his empty cup on the coffee table and leaned back onto the couch. Misha waited until he was still before he sat back as well, which put him against Jensen's side.

Jensen kept an arm across the back of the couch, though the desire to put it around Misha instead kept tugging at his thoughts. Misha's chest rumbled with a laugh as he watched the movie. Jensen had watched maybe a half of the two movies that Misha had returned with. Most of his attention had been split between pain and the man beside him.

 _You're buzzed, not drunk. So that means these thoughts are legitimate, right?_ Jensen looked over at Misha, who saw and returned the gaze. Jensen wasn't sure why, but he didn't want to look away. Not with such captivating blue filling his thoughts. Misha held the stare for a while before he made a face and turned back to the tv.

Jensen's thoughts drifted to the show. _How are they going to handle the kiss at the end of the last season? Will they ignore it? Acknowledge it? Downplay it?_ He recalled the feeling of Cas's kiss, the emotion behind it. He knew Misha was a phenomenal actor, but was it just acting? Was it acting at the convention too? He was sure it was the buzz talking, but he wanted to figure it out.

"Misha?" Jensen called softly. Misha kept his eyes on the TV and made a noise of acknowledgement. Jensen tried again. "Mishka."

Misha turned and before Jensen allowed himself to overthink it; he leaned over and pressed his lips against Misha's. Misha's body froze with confused surprise for a split second before his lips were moving as he pushed himself into the kiss. _Fuck yeah_. Jensen let his arm fall from the back of the couch and wrapped it around Misha, pulling them together. His chest protested angrily but he ignored it as Misha's hands appeared in Jensen's hair and the other played with the fabric of Jensen's shirt.

Misha's mouth tasted like the alcohol he had brought back from the store. Misha moaned once then pulled back, resting his forehead against Jensen's mouth. Jensen grinned.

"Well that set-"

"You're drunk, Jensen." Misha interrupted softly, dejectedly. Jensen's brow knitted in confusion as Misha sighed heavily. Misha leaned back before letting his hand trail from Jensen's hair down the length of his jaw. As his fingertips left Jensen's chin, Misha rose from the couch and disappeared into the bedroom.

Jensen sat on the saggy hotel room couch for half an hour as he tried to sort through the feelings and thoughts swirling around him. _Did I upset him? He kissed me back… I'm not drunk…_ Jensen frowned towards the bedroom door, which had been shut silently at some point. He pulled himself to his feet and was annoyed with how wobbly he felt. Gripping his chest tightly, he shuffled to the bedroom.

The lights were off and from the streetlight shining through the heavy curtains he could see Misha's form curled up on his bed. Jensen sighed softly and used the bathroom before stripping to his boxers and climbing into his bed. He stared at the dark ceiling until well after his eyes had fully adjusted to the lack of light. It wasn't until Misha's breathing evened out and settled into a steady rhythm of sleep that Jensen felt himself begin to doze. _I can apologize tomorrow._ He thought as his body relaxed. _Even though I'm not sorry._


	12. A New Season All Around

The following week went by quickly, but mainly because Jensen was busy settling back into his trailer and reading over the script for the first episode. It was early evening and the set was slowing coming together again as the crew trickled in for filming the next day. Jared was seated on the other side of Jensen's couch as they discussed the script and ate takeout.

"I just don't like this script, man." Jensen grumbled as held it up. Jared looked up with a frown.

"What? Why? They are finally making Destiel canon. You should be thrilled."

"Yeah but this doesn't seem like Dean." Jensen frowned. "He isn't going to go all lovey dovey, doe eyes 'I can't believe it took me so long to realize I love him' Cue tear rolling down his face. That's bullshit."

Jared brushed hair from his eyes and shrugged. "I dunno man. You know Dean the best. Trust your heart."

 _It's in a different trailer._ He grumbled in reply, though silently. He settled his unfocused gaze on the pages in his hands. He _still_ hadn't apologized to Misha for kissing him the week before. Hell, he'd barely seen the Misha in the entire week. He found it strange to suddenly be alone more often than not when his hiatus had been mostly spent with the other man in his company. He stood to find a pen and set to work rewriting the script to something he liked better.

He was so focused on the rewrite he didn't even notice Jared leave. He looked around the empty trailer with a sigh. He felt bad. _I should have carried his stuff for him or something_. Jared still wore a cast, and even though he said he was fine and could do everything on his own, Jensen wanted to help. He glanced at the clock and realized it was already after 10 pm. With a sigh he put the cap on his pen and retired to his bed, not ready for yet another night of fitful sleep.

Jensen was slow to get ready the following morning. He shaved and styled his new haircut, even though he was sure the costume crew would redo it. His phone had been silent for days and he left it in his trailed with a sigh. _Maybe I can find him before we start._ He thought seconds before he heard Kelly call his name. _Or not._ He tried not to roll his eyes as he turned around.

"Alright! LET'S GO" Robert yelled across the set. Jensen took a deep breath and channeled Dean for the first time in weeks. _Here we go._ He looked at Jared across the table as Robert yelled "ACTION!"

"So get this," Sam called as he leafed through a thick book. Dean looked over as he rubbed sleep from his eyes. "There's a wolf nest in Ames, Iowa."

"What makes you say that?" Dean asked gruffly before downing his coffee.

"This news article." Sam pushed his thin laptop over and Dean scanned the page. He opened his mouth to reply when footsteps sounded from the kitchen. Sam glanced up with a nod of acknowledgment but Dean turned with a smile.

"Mornin' sunshine." He said as Cas walked in, trying to hold three cups of coffee.

"Good morning, Dean. Sam." Cas replied gravelly. He managed to sit all three steaming cups down without spilling before Dean stood from his chair. He walked over and planted a kiss on Cas's cheek before grabbing one of the cups and returning to his seat. Cas had frozen at the contact, but Dean didn't care anymore.

He looked over at Sam who was staring with raised eyebrows. "He's my boyfriend. So what?" Dean replied with a shrug. Sam put his hands up defensively and buried his nose in a smaller book.

"CUT!" Robert yelled. Jensen looked towards him as he stood from his chair. "What the actual hell Jensen. That wasn't even close to the script."

"Because that script sucked balls, Robert." Jensen spat back, staying in his seat at the big Bunker table. "Dean isn't going to do the crap in that shit script. There's a copy of my edited version on my chair. That's what I'm doing. You can film it or not." Jensen crossed his arms and waited while Robert stalked to Jensen's chair and snatched the pages. Misha reached over and took the coffee from Jensen.

"Roll again." He called with less anger as he sat down to look at what was written. Jensen smirked over at Misha, who was frowning at the floor as he walked out of the room, coffee cups in hand.

After the third take, Jensen could tell something was wrong. He called a halt to filming and tugged Misha from the room to speak to him in private. Misha went begrudgingly but he _did_ go. Once they were safely away from prying ears Jensen turned to him. He looked exhausted in his normal Cas getup. Jensen wondered if It were Misha or makeup.

"Man you need to tell me what's wrong."

Misha's tired blue eyes glanced to Jensen's face before dropping again. "I just uh, haven't slept well."

"Bullshit." Jensen said. Misha rolled his eyes before crossing his arms.

"I just...I wasn't expecting them to go with it like this."

"Do you not like my take on the script? We can figure out something. It's just that Dean-"

"No, Jensen it wasn't that. What you did fit. It's just….I thought I'd be happier with this than I am. It's like they're making this first half of the season all about this one relationship."

"What are you talking about, Misha? We were only given one script so far."

"Oh uh, I don't know I guess." Misha's brow lowered.

"Misha…Are you still mad at me about the last hotel. Because I'm really sorry." Jensen said feeling like an asshole. He had definitely been more drunk than he thought, but even now he _still_ felt attracted to Misha. So that had to mean something.

"The hotel?" Misha looked up at him in brief confusion before shaking his head. "No. I'm not. You were drunk and I had been…I... It's just in the past. Don't worry about it." Misha sighed before rubbing at his eyes.

"Misha I'm so-"

"Seriously, man. It's okay. Let's just get this scene wrapped so we can move on." Misha pushed past Jensen. He watched as the white shirt- clad figure walked back to set and suddenly Jensen felt like he was losing his best friend.


	13. Chicken Parmesan

Dean smiled into Cas's neck as they leaned against the library wall of the Bunker. Cas huffed slightly before gently pushing Dean back. "Dean, we are supposed to be researching for the Wendigo case." Cas reminded him with an edge to his voice.

"CUT."

Misha suppressed the string of curses that he wanted to shout at Robert. Jensen pushed off of the wall and spun, throwing his hands in the air and wincing in pain from his chest. He stomped over to talk and Misha sighed and followed.

"You need to get your head in the game, Misha." Robert scolded as Misha joined them. Misha folded his arms. He was so angry with Robert and the writers. It was so hard to keep it contained.

"I'm sorry. Give me a bit and we'll go again. I'll make it better." Robert waved him off and Misha stalked, no he walked, away. It was hard to walk normally when his insides were seething.

Outside the sun was high in the sky. He took a deep breath and shed his trench coat. He closed his eyes and took slow breaths. _You can do this. Just channel Cas. He can finally show Dean his feelings. You just got-_

"Hey, Misha?" Jensen called, making him jump. He hadn't even heard the door open. He looked over and took a shuddery breath. Jensen looked _so_ good as Dean. The flannel with the rolled up sleeves, the spiky hair. His eyes shone so brightly in the sunlight it was heart stopping.

"Hi." Misha managed to reply before dropping his gaze. _Forcing_ his gaze to the ground.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine."

"It's been another week man, and I haven't seen you. Like at all." Jensen leaned against the hot brick wall next to Misha, their shoulders brushed. "Also, all of your ugly ass cups are taking up my cabinet space."

Misha smirked. "I'm sorry. It's just been a lot on my plate. Can I come get them tonight after filming is done?"

"That would be great. I can order pizza if you want?"

"I'll just stop by. Thanks though. Give me another minute?" Misha asked, squinting over at Jensen.

Jensen nodded and went back inside, leaving Misha free to deflate like he had wanted to the entire conversation. His shoulders sagged a little and he let his head _thud_ backwards against the brick. _How can I do this?_ _I have to tell him. But I can't or they lose that surprise factor for the show. God dammit._ He clenched and unclenched his fists several times before going back inside.

"We are supposed to be researching for the Wendigo case." Cas said softly. Dean nodded and pushed off of the wall. He cleared his throat and smoothed his hair before turning and striding to the table where the books were.

Cas followed, his mood much lighter than it had been before Dean had surprise-kissed him. He could still feel the taste of Dean's coffee flavored lips. Cas was staring too intently at Dean's back that he didn't see the figure behind him until they heard him speak.

"Hello boys."

Cas spun, his angel blade slipping from his sleeve in a second. He heard Dean curse and something fell behind him. Crowley smiled at them, his hands stuffed in his dark coat. His eyes flickered between them before settling on Dean, dismissing Cas.

"I need your help, Squirrel." Crowley purred. Cas frowned.

"Why would I want to?" Dean huffed. The gun in Dean's hands came into his peripheral as he stepped up beside Cas.

"I have a little problem with an uprising. Details really. I just need you and your merry band of misfits to come help me."

"CUT!" Robert hollered. "That's good on that one. Good job, Misha. Much more emotion that time. The fans will eat this up. Let's roll to Sam and Eileen in the car. C'mon people!"

Misha sighed as he went off to get ready for the next scene. He saw Jensen watching him but he ignored the green eyed hunter. _He isn't technically a hunter himself. He plays one on tv._ Misha rolled his eyes at his own joke and left the set.

That night, an hour after they had finished for the day, Misha knocked on Jensen's trailer door. Lights were on inside and steady rock music drifted through, as well as Jensen's voice as he sang along. Misha knocked again and the door opened promptly to reveal a disheveled looking Jensen.

Misha tried not to laugh at the messed hair and food splattered shirt. Or how Jensen's jeans were too long and bunched around his feet. He lifted his gaze and caught Jensen's. "Come in!" Jensen said as he stepped to the side. Misha brushed past him, the aroma of cooking chicken filling the trailer.

"What are you making?" Misha asked as he walked to the kitchen, intent to get his cups and leave. He was tired of playing the back and forth with Jensen. It was hard enough on set when he got to act on his feelings, but he knew now that Jensen was just playing. Though he still didn't know why Nesnej had kissed him. He looked over as Jensen crouched down to peer into the oven.

"Chicken Parmesan." Jensen replied without looking over. Misha nodded and reached for his cups. He paused when he opened the cupboard door to find it empty.

"Uh…where are my cups?" He asked as he peered around. He opened a couple other cupboards before turning around, jumping to find Jensen standing right behind him.

"They're in a box outside of your trailer." Jensen replied as he stared hard at Misha. _Fuckin' Dean and his sex eyes._ Misha stepped back but the sink was there and stopped him.

"Jensen…."

"Misha." Jensen purred, taking a step closer. Misha's hand on his chest made him pause.

"What are you doing? Are you drunk again?"

"I wasn't drunk that night."

"You were plastered and you know it. Don't be an asshole, Jensen."

A flash of pain crossed Jensen's beautiful features before he took a step back. "I'm sorry, Misha. I feel so bad about that night." He paused and Misha took the opportunity to push past him. Jensen's solid grip on Misha's arm made him stop.

"Misha I feel bad that I never got to explain. I'm not drunk, I swear. But even sober-"

"Even sober. Like that would make a difference with you screwing with me. That's great." Misha tried to pull his arm back despite the frenzied butterflies in his stomach. Jensen placed his other hand against Misha's chest and he was surprised Jensen couldn't feel the frantic flapping.

"I didn't mean it like that. Will you please sit down so we can talk?"

"I don't-" Misha took a deep breath and looked away from Jensen's face. "I don't want to talk. I have too much to deal with." He closed his eyes, reveling in the feel of Jensen's warm hands.

"Let me help you." Jensen whispered. "I want to help you. I want to be there for you, man." One of his hands cupped Misha's face and Misha tried not to push into the touch. He opened his eyes to find Jensen staring at him sadly, so close he could feel Jensen's breaths.

"You can't help me with these problems." Misha whispered.

"Let me decide that. Please stop pushing me away. I miss you. I miss my best friend."

Misha opened his mouth to reply but the timer on the oven sounded shrilly, making them both jump. Jensen's brow knitted together before he released his grasp on Misha and turned to the food. Misha took a shaky breath and hurried to the bathroom.

His tears of frustration were washed away as the cold water hit his face. He splashed more water on his face and he heard Jensen call his name. _This isn't fair. I have to tell him._ He stood up and dried his face and hands before leaving the bathroom. Jensen looked up from where he was leaning dejectedly against the sink.

"I thought you left." He said simply as Misha approached. The food was laid out on the table, along with two place settings. He saw a bottle of wine and also beer but he really didn't want any of them. He sighed, ready to leave. He looked back to Jensen to say as much, but Jensen was frowning at the floor. Misha knew him well enough to know he was really upset. He groaned inwardly and sat at the table.

Late that night, as Misha lay in his bed, he tried to forget his hatred for the script and focus on the reality of this season. Destiel was canon. It was happening. He should be throwing himself into the role and loving it. Getting paid to make out with Jensen? Hell yes.

But the looming dread for how the script will pan out was eating him alive. He wished they hadn't told him. How was he supposed to keep it to himself? _This is torture._ He groaned and rolled onto his stomach as he turned his thoughts to dinner.

They'd talked, but the night at the hotel never came up. Misha didn't really want to know or he would have pressed the issue. The issues he was dealing with didn't get brought up either. He learned that Jensen was glad they were going forth with the storyline, but he was also upset that this was building up towards the end. Jensen's crestfallen expression when he talked about the show ending had torn Misha's heart to pieces and the half smile Jensen had offered to Misha salsa danced on the broken shards. He wanted it to be okay. He wanted Jensen to be okay.

The clock read after 2, but he still felt restless. He turned over to his back again. _I can throw myself into this role. Give the fans, and Jensen, this amazing season. Let go of my hatred until I'm gone. I can do this._


	14. Filming

The bed creaked as Misha pushed himself onto his elbow, rolling with the light blanket that covered both him and Jensen, leaving one of Jensen's mostly bare legs uncovered. He jerked the blanket back to cover his bare skin, then covered their heads with it. It was awkward knowing that everyone was watching outside of Dean's room on set, but being under the blanket helped a little. The fact that Misha kept eyeing him didn't help. Jensen made a face.

"Blanket hog." He whispered and Misha smirked at him. Jensen put one arm under his head, enjoying the puffs of breath against his bare chest as Misha tried to get situated to do the scene.

It had been two and a half weeks already and this was only the second scene with any form of overt romance in it for Dean and Cas. There had been an increased amount of shoulder touching, lasting glances, and sex eyes. A couple car rides while holding hands too, but actual displays of affection were nil. Jensen was okay with it though. Dean wasn't a super emotional guy and he sure didn't show it much when he was. Jensen had been looking forward to this scene, but also dreading it. He wished he knew what Misha thought. Since that dinner he had barely seen Misha off of set. He wasn't cold…but he was distant. Jensen missed him.

"Ready to roll!" The director shouted across the set and the noise of the crew stopped immediately. Misha lay next to him, stilling his shuffling as their eyes met and they called out in unison.

"Yes!"

"You ready?" Jensen asked softly and Misha gave him an impish smile.

"Hell yes." Misha said as Jensen uncovered their faces.

"Action!"

Dean could hear Sam's call for him from in the hall. He opened his eyes slowly and looked around the room before his gaze fell on the angel tucked against his side. He smiled slowly and reached over to brush a strand of Cas's hair from his face. Cas opened his eyes and looked up at Dean.

"Good mornin' sunshine." Dean said softly as they heard Sam holler to wake up again.

"Good morning, Dean." Cas said gravelly.

"Let's agree to not go on separate hunts again. Like ever."

"Dean," Cas shifted so he was leaning away a little. "You need to promise not to lose focus on your tasks because of me."

"I'm fine, Cas. I can do both."

"I'm serious, Dean. I cannot handle something happening to you because you're worried about my well-being. I can take care of myself."

"I know you can, Cas. You're a frickin' angel." Dean softened his expression as he reached over and brushed his fingers along Cas's cheek. "I'm just sayin' I missed you."

"I missed you too, Dean." Cas looked up and stared at him and Dean saw the hardness in his eyes melt. Dean leaned down and kissed him, savoring the feel of their lips together, until Sam pounded on the door and yelled at him.

"We have a case, Dean. We needed to leave ten minutes ago." Sam growled through the door. Dean rolled his eyes and drew the blanket over their heads.

They hadn't called cut, so Jensen stared at Misha, his mind swirling with emotions. Misha was still in character as he glanced at the door. Jensen mulled over the feelings for another moment before he reached over and grasped Cas's shirt and gently pulled him closer. Cas initiated the kiss and Jensen lost himself in it.

When the call for cut sounded, Jensen groaned. Somehow, Misha had ended up half on top of him, one of his legs stabilizing him from between Jensen's bare legs. His boxer briefs were tight and he realized with slight horror that he was hard. _Shit._ Misha uncovered their torsos and moved off of Jensen, casting an undecipherable look over his shoulder before he sat.

"We wanted Dean and Cas to kiss. Very simply and quick. Not dry hump each other." Philip called. Jensen's face heated but Misha stood to face him. He wore one of Dean's black t-shirts and a pair of loose pajama pants that hung around his hips like a tease. Jensen made sure the blankets were bunched in just the right spot.

"We weren't dry humping." Misha said simply. "Besides, you've never had a make out session in your life. That doesn't really lend you credence to tell us how to act."

Philip glared at him before sitting back in his director's chair and calling for a retake. "LESS emotion. Less sass. " He called.

Misha grumbled as he returned to Jensen's side. "Robert wanted more and now he wants less. This is bullshit."

"I thought it was a good take." Jensen mumbled as he reached over to arrange Misha's hair again. Misha briefly froze in his arms before relaxing and letting Jensen continue. He finished and looked down as Misha gave him a look before whispering.

"We can do better."

The next take was way more heated in thanks to Misha. Jensen was left panting by the time Philip called cut. They got chewed out for making out again but all Jensen could focus on was the pressure of Misha's thigh against his groin as Misha propped himself above Jensen.

"Roll again, seriously guys." Philip called and Misha returned to Jensen's side. Jensen was surprised his pounding heart wasn't making Misha's hand move as it rested against his chest. Jared laughed from the outside of the door.

"I'll just walk the halls some more. No worries guys." He called and Jensen laughed. They rolled the scene again.

"I missed you too, Dean." Cas's eyes met Dean's as his hand appeared on Dean's neck. He pulled Dean down for a chaste kiss then released him. Dean played with the fabric of _his_ shirt that Cas wore. Sam pounded on the door and yelled at him.

"We have a case, Dean. We needed to leave ten minutes ago." Sam growled through the door. Dean rolled his eyes as Cas turned towards the door and yelled.

"Go without us! We'll catch up."

A snicker of surprise sounded from behind the door. "Alright fine!" Sam yelled as Cas turned back to Dean. Dean's grin almost hurt his face.

"Well that's one way to get rid of him." Dean muttered. Cas was still resting beside him, his leg pressed tightly against Dean beneath the blankets. Dean leaned forward and captured Cas's lips once more as the arm that was already beneath the blanket slowly groped its way to the angel's waistline. He ran a finger from hip bone to hip bone and reveled in the gasp that the motion elicited. "We have a while now." He purred and they were close enough that Dean saw Cas'c pupils dilate. He smiled into their next kiss.

The call for cut was met with frustration on Jensen's part. He didn't _want_ to stop. He could do without the audience, but he was quite enjoying the scene. He loved the way Misha fit into the clothes he wore. He loved the softness of Misha's lips and the roughness of his hands. How Misha kept pressing his leg against Jensen, making it _so_ hard not to grind against it for the friction he wanted. _Shit._ He tried to focus on something else.

"I think we have it. We'll mash them together or something. Let's move on –" Philip paused and reached into his pocket. He withdrew a cell phone and stepped away. Jensen stayed on the bed, overtly aware of Misha's weight beside him as he sat. After a couple minutes, a visibly shaken Philip returned.

"We are going to cancel shoots for the rest of today, guys. Sorry. Something came up in the family. Sorry." He turned and walked out as Jensen sat up.

"Is he okay?" He said aloud, but no one responded. He turned to find Misha almost out of sight. Desire still burned hot in his mind as Jensen reached for some pants. _We need to talk so bad._ He groaned inwardly as he hurried after the trench coated figure.


	15. Confessions

"Misha just wait!" Jensen called as he jogged after Misha, who was just entering his trailer. The door shut behind him and Jensen growled as he reached to open it. Inside, Misha was nowhere to be seen, but Jensen could hear the bathroom sink running. He stalked towards the door, his steps faltering as he neared because he realized he didn't know what to say. _You made me horny and I need you to finish the job? Yeah that will go over well._

He shook his head as he waited outside the bathroom door. It took a solid five minutes plus some before the door creaked open. Misha sighed as his eyes locked with Jensen's.

"Please go away." Misha ground out and Jensen's heart ached.

"No I need to talk to you, man."

"You've had weeks to talk to me." Misha brushed past him towards the kitchen but Jensen grabbed his arm and spun him around, pinning him against the hall wall. Misha stared angrily back at Jensen, and he noticed for the first time how his beautiful blue eyes were rimmed in red.

"I am sorry about that night. I was drunk. I wanted to know if you were just acting. Just playing the part of Cas and shit or if those were all real kisses."

"Did you get your answer?" Misha said softly as he averted his glare.

"I don't know, man."

Misha scoffed and tried to push Jensen's arm off from across his chest, but Jensen grasped his wrist and stopped him. "Let me talk to you."

"Then do it and get the hell off." Misha growled. Jensen sighed through his nose before leaning down and capturing Misha's mouth in his. Misha didn't respond so Jensen moved back. He released Misha, who slumped slightly against the wall as he actively avoided Jensen's face.

"Please just talk with me, Mishka." Jensen pleaded. He saw Misha's shoulder sag a little more before that unsettlingly gorgeous gaze was fixed on his face.

"They-" He inhaled shakily. "They are writing Castiel out of the show. They're going to kill him."

Jensen stared at him wide eyed, not sure he heard correctly. Misha repeated himself as his eyes brimmed with tears and Jensen snapped back into focus.

"They are doing it sometime before the end of the season but I don't know when. I was given several scripts and told the overall storyline but that's it. They wanted me to keep it to myself but how? How am I supposed to do that, Jensen?" His voice cracked when he reached the name.

Jensen stepped forward again and pulled Misha into a hug. He felt tears burning at his eyes too. "We can talk to them. Figure a way to rewrite the script." Jensen offered as Misha clutched his back. Jensen realized he was still shirtless, but he didn't care.

"I tried. I tried begging and offering a rewrite and throwing a fit. They won't budge."

"But why? What purpose could killing Cas possible serve?"

"I don't- I don't know." Misha sobbed into Jensen's shoulder. Jensen held him, feeling like an asshole for having pushed and tested him the past few weeks. _I should have known. I should have figured out something was really bothering him and helped. Instead I've been selfish._ A thought bounced around in his mind and after Misha calmed a little he whispered it.

"So you haven't been mad at me for kissing you?"

Misha forced out a laugh but shook his head. "No. Confused, yes. But I'm not mad at you. I've handled this whole thing so badly and I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry, man. I real-" Jensen's apology was cut off as Misha pulled away and clumsily brought their mouths together, hitting his nose on Jensen's jaw on the way. Jensen moaned into the kiss as Misha's hand appeared behind his head again, pulling him down at a better angle.

Jensen slid his hands under the t-shirt and Misha gasped at the touch, which only fueled Jensen's fire. He pressed Misha backwards until his back hit the wall again and their bodies were pressed together. He felt Misha's hand trail down his chest, across his abdomen, then down the front of the pants. Jensen moaned as Misha palmed him through the jeans. He pushed into Misha's hand.

"Shit, Cas." Jensen groaned before he realized the slip up. Misha leaned away from the kiss and growled.

"Do you want me to be him? Will this make it easier for you?" He asked with a touch of anger in his voice. "Easier to respond to flirtation if it isn't real life?"

Jensen frowned down at him in confusion. "What are you talking about?" He asked as Misha removed his hand.

"I fucking love you and you just toy with me. All the goddam time." Misha snapped before his eyes widened as if he hadn't meant to say that. Jensen froze.

"Mish-"

Just don't!" Misha took a step back but Jensen reacted quickly, darting his hands out to grasp the lithe man's waist and pull them together _hard._

"Shut up and quit trying to run away from me." Jensen growled as he held Misha against him. He could feel Misha's erection against his own and _goddam_ that was sexy. He stared down into those bottomless blue eyes and realized he wanted _this._ Them together. He wanted it.

"I have taken so long to figure out my feelings." He ground out. Trying to form coherent thoughts while this horny was hard. Pun intended. "I think about you all the damn time. I miss you. I miss having you in the same room as me. I sleep like shit without you nearby. I've had so many fuckin' nightmares this last month. It's a wonder I can even function I'm so tired." He took a slow breath, trying to calm his racing and hurting heart. " I feel better when you're nearby. This morning I woke up and could barely inhale my chest hurt so badly. Then we got to work and I forgot all about my pain. I want _you,_ Misha. All of you. We can figure shit out as we go but right now, . You." Jensen stared down at him, hoping his expression conveyed earnestness and not just lust.

Misha had tears bordering on escape as he stared up at Jensen. His hands had moved to grasp Jensen's forearms at some point, but they slid around to lock behind Jensen's back now. Jensen's heart hurt from beating so hard and fast and he wanted to just scream at Misha to reply.


	16. Could Get Used To This

" _CAS!" Dean yelled across the street. Castiel turned to find the monsters between them numbering in the thousands. Despair gripped him and he struggled to run to Dean, to protect him. His human. He tried to yell but nothing escaped his lips and he watched in horror as the monsters carried Dean away from him. There was nothing he could do._

Misha woke with a start, his limbs flailing for a hold as he quickly came to. He peered around the morning-lit room in bewilderment until his gaze fell on the warm body beside him. Jensen was splayed across Misha's bed, one leg from the knee down and his arm off the bed.


	17. Oliver Queen's Problems Are Better

Jensen lay quietly in his bed. The peaceful, even sound of Misha's deep sleep besides him was a comfort he couldn't put into words. His face was illuminated by his phone as he scrolled through messages and comments on Facebook. He didn't even want to look at Instagram or twitter. It got to be a little overwhelming some of the time. All of the pleads for attention and declarations of love.

He paused as he came across the live stream from two nights before. _500 comments is ridiculous._ He clicked play and watched as he appeared on screen, but his attention was mostly focused on the rolling comments. He noted that several asked why he was in Misha's trailer and he wasn't sure if he was impressed or uncomfortable that they knew that.

He watched as on-screen Jensen's eyes jumped to the door. A wide smile broke out across his face and he turned to the phone again with a bright light in his eyes. "Hey guys! Guess who just walked in?"

Jensen watched as Misha appeared on screen, and a frown pulled at his brow. _He looked like shit. No wonder he waved me off. Dammit._ Misha relaxed into Jensen's shoulder as he looked tiredly at the screen. His eyes were rimmed in red and he just seemed haggard. The sight tugged at Jensen's heart. He put his phone down and turned to the man beside him.

It had been a day off for Misha, thankfully. Jensen went in to film while Misha worked on a local fundraiser he was putting together. _How does he focus on so many other people when things are falling apart for him?_ Jensen brushed Misha's dark hair from his face as he lay curled up on the pillow beside him. Jensen reached over and threaded his fingers with Misha's tanned hand that was across his abdomen.

Throughout their evening, Misha had mumbled a few times that he didn't want to work the next day, but he wouldn't explain. Jensen was sure that the further into the season they got, the less Misha was willing to be there. He had assured Misha that they could do one more day, and then they had the entire weekend to themselves.

Jensen clenched his jaw against the burning frustration he felt for the writers for coming up with this idea. After a few minutes, the fire diminished as he focused on Misha's warmth. Jensen watched as Misha's chest rose and fell evenly and it lulled Jensen to sleep.

The alarm clock blared shrilly and startled Jensen from a good dream. He groaned and silenced it, trying to lull himself back to sleep. It wasn't until the bed shifted that he remembered he wasn't alone. He turned to find Misha's bottomless blue eyes watching him.

"Mornin' sunshine." He said with a smirk. Misha rolled his eyes before he leaned over and pulled Jensen into a kiss. Jensen was already hard, thanks to the dream, and now he for sure didn't want to get out of bed. Misha groaned as Jensen pressed his groin against Misha's. He rolled his hips slightly and reveled in the friction and smoothness of their underwear.

"I…need…to…pee." Misha managed to pant right before Jensen rolled over onto him. The whimper that escaped his lips wasn't intentional, but the way Misha's eyes dilated made Jensen glad it happened. Misha grabbed Jensen's face and pulled it towards his hungrily. Jensen groaned as Misha rolled out of bed, and out of Jensen's arms.

He collapsed back onto the bed as the bathroom door squeaked shut. He tried to calm himself, but it did little good. _Well maybe I can take care of it in the shower. I need one._ He looked to the bathroom as the door squeaked again.

Misha appeared, now clad in nothing. He wiggled his eyebrows at Jensen and motioned him over. As Jensen scrambled from the bed he heard the shower turn on. _Not quite what I meant but I'll take it._ He grinned as he stepped into the bathroom.

The weekend passed too quickly. Jensen dropped Misha off at the airport on Monday with a dejected sigh. _You could have gone with him for this event. He wouldn't have minded._ He sat in his car in the airport parking lot and watched until Misha's plane took off.

Back at the set, Jensen headed straight for Jared's trailer. He knocked once before letting himself in and plopping on the plush couch. Jared appeared from the backroom with a frown before going back for a shirt.

"You're early. We aren't supposed to have food until lunch."

"I have nothing else to do." Jensen replied as he looked around for the remote.

"You meant to say "I have no one to do." Didn't you?" Jared asked with a smirk. Jensen fake glared at him and ignored the comment. He knew that Jared knew of his and Misha's relationship. He didn't want it to get out though. Not because he cared, hell no. He just wanted it to be _his_ and personal. He found the remote and began to channel surf.

They ordered food early and passed the morning talking and catching up. Jared was getting his cast off soon and was thrilled. He was genuinely interested to know how Jensen was feeling and it was grating on him not to tell Misha's secret. He was just _so_ upset. Especially since he knew how upset Misha was.

"You look like you're going to punch me, man. What's up?" Jared called softly as he lifted his drink to his mouth. Jensen tried to calm his features and think of an excuse, but he was too pissed to care.

"They're going to fucking kill Cas in the show. For good." He spat, wanting to kick something, or someone.

"What!?" Jared sat forward. "You're kidding me? Why? When?"

"We don't know. I'm not supposed to know. Misha couldn't keep it a secret, it was eating him alive."

"Is there any way we could talk-"

"No that's been tried. Misha and Mark have both approached them and begged but they won't budge. Or say why they're doing it yet. Just some crap about needing it for the show."

"That's bullshit, man. I'm sorry." Jared leaned back again, which added to Jensen's feeling of defeat. _He gave up easily._

"Too bad you weren't a director or something for the show, someone with more clout. Then you could overrule them."

"I wish." Jensen mumbled as he finished his beer.

"What will Misha do when he's done?"

"I haven't asked him, I guess. I don't know."

"Well I hope he sticks around. I'll miss him."

Jensen frowned. The possibility of Misha leaving the set hadn't even crossed his mind as an option. He worked to keep his cool before he focused on the TV and let himself get lost in Green Arrow's problems instead of his own.


	18. Jensen's Stand

The following week felt slow to Jensen. Misha returned and they had resumed filming, but there was heaviness between them. Misha tried to put on a brave face but Jensen knew him well enough to see through. He tried to offer shot He couldn't get Jared's words out of his head. " _Someone with more clout. Then you could overrule them."_

They wrapped for the day and as Jared left the set, Jensen tapped the steering wheel of Baby. He saw Robert Singer talking with someone before shaking his head and stalking off set. Jensen got out of the car and stalked over to Singer. He had been trying to think of a way to word his speech for days, but he just didn't like how anything sounded. His brow was knitted low as he caught up with the man.

"Robert." He called out, gruffer than he intended. Singer turned around with an exasperated expression.

"What now?"

"I need to talk to you." Jensen's mind raced as he tried to remember the things he'd rehearsed. _Misha needs to stay. Most important thing._

"You already are. What for?"

His attitude added to Jensen's frustration. He stopped in front of Singer and looked down as he crossed his arms. "I'm tired of this shit. You need to find a way to not kill off Cas."

"It is pertinent - Wait." He glared up at Jensen. "You aren't supposed to know that."

"I'm pretty sure the whole cast knows by now, which is _not_ Misha's fault."

"That's just fucking great." Singer threw his hands in the air and turned away, but Jensen moved in his way.

"I told you. His death is pertinent to the storyline."

"I don't give a fuck." Jensen ground out." Misha clearly does not want to go. How many other cast members have approached you and asked to keep him? You need to figure it out."

"Castiel has to die this season. We've been building it up through all of the episodes so far. The show-"

"We would not have a show if it weren't for him. You know it." Jensen tried to ease the glare off of his face.

"It's going to-"

Jensen lowered his voice as he interrupted again. "You need to understand. You find a way to bring him back. Kill him now, I don't care. But you find a way to make him return next season or I will walk. I will be done."

Robert squinted up at him. "You wouldn't actually do it."

Jensen took a step closer and leaned forward into Singer's face. "Try me."

Jensen's heart thudded in his chest. _Did I really just say that?_ After a long pause of trading glares, Robert gave a slight head nod.

"I'll see what we can do. Don't say anything to anyone until we have a definite plan though." He stepped around Jensen and hurriedly walked away. Jensen stared after him dumbstruck. It wasn't a for sure yes, but it wasn't an outright refusal. There was hope. His frown melted from his face and was replaced with a slight smile as he hurried to get ready for the upcoming trip. The Minneapolis convention was always fun and he was looking forward to a break from work and a chance to see the fans. His grin turned to a smile as Misha's ringtone blared from his phone. _I need to remember to silence that before filming. Oops._

The crowd was overly energized by the time Jensen's Saturday panel rolled around. Looking out across the crowd made him smile each time. It was easy to forget the stress of work when he had so many smiling faces staring at him. And when he got 400 hugs a day. The majority of questions were about the upcoming season, and he felt bad he couldn't give anything away. He almost slipped up a couple times and revealed the plot line but was able to backtrack. What he knew of the plot anyway.

The questions about the series finale were ones he had expected. But again it was hard to not bring up that Destiel was going to be canon. He addressed the fan that had asked the most recent question and smiled mischievously at her.

"Do me a favor? Record your reaction to the first five minutes of the season premier?" She nodded and stuttered out that she would. The crowd whooped and demanded to know more, but he bowed out and walked back stage.

Waiting for him was Misha. He breathed a sigh of relief at the sight of him in his dark button up. He was leaning against the wall with a faraway look. He looked up as Jensen approached and a smile lit his face.

"You did great. I don't think you've ever managed to answer that many questions in one panel before." Misha said as Jensen reached him and slipped a hand around his waist. Misha cocked an eyebrow at him but he ignored it as he quickly kissed Misha's cheek.

"I'm going to freshen up while Jared does his panel. See you in an hour?" He let go of Misha's waist as he continued walking, but Misha grasped his wrist.

"Do you have to "freshen up" alone?" Misha asked, using his fingers to show air quotes. Jensen shook his head as his smile widened. Jared walked over then and Misha let go.

"Good panel, JA. I'm surprised you didn't let out any secrets." He joked as he passed.

"Nah. That's something you are known for, not me." Jensen playfully smacked Jared's shoulder before he was out of range and Jared laughed.

"They're going to bug me about the recording line you know." Jared said and Jensen smiled over his shoulder.

"I know!" He slung his arm across Misha's shoulders and they went towards their rooms.

Jensen could tell Misha was struggling. Their panel had been ongoing for thirty minutes and Misha had barely cracked a smile. He wasn't rude, he'd never be to a fan, but he wasn't as warm as usual. Jensen offered him alcohol, "apple juice", but he declined.

Most of the questions they were asked had been about his charity work over the past month. Misha was always eager to talk about that and to try to get people in on it. Jensen would have been content to sit back and just watch him but he knew the fans were there to see them both.

One of the questions Jensen hadn't expected came up with 15 minutes till the end of the panel. The fan looked to be in her late twenties. Her blonde hair was up in a bun on her head and she wore one of Jared's campaign shirts and jeans. She breathed loudly into the mike as she asked her question.

"I was wondering if there's been any update on the Double M fan, Anna." She asked. Jensen frowned. _I haven't even thought of them in months. Not since the marathon I died in at the beginning of the summer_. Misha let out a slow breath and lifted the microphone.

"Uh yes. Their mother contacted me a day ago actually." He paused and looked over at Jensen, whose heart seized at the sadness that was carved into the lines on his friend's face. Misha's voice broke slightly as he turned back to the fan.

"Anna passed away last week." A collective _aww_ filled the hall and Misha nodded. Jensen had had no idea.

"Melanie is doing okay, but the family wanted privacy during their grief so I agreed to not make a big deal of it. Guess I failed." His voice broke again on the last word and Jensen stood. He walked over and pulled Misha into a hug, and instead of the whoops he was expecting, the hall stayed silent. He looked out to find multiple fans crying, and he wasn't sure if it was for the girl or Misha.

He stepped back a little and Misha kept tear stained face turned away from the crowd. Their microphones were away from their mouths, so when he whispered only Jensen could hear.

"There's so much shit going on and to hear that right before we got here. It's just…not fair."

"I know, Mishka. I'm sorry." Jensen hugged him again, overtly aware of the hundreds of gazes watching them. The screens recording them. He stepped back, but kept one arm on Misha's back. _He could have told me. I could have helped. Or tried._ He turned back to the crowd as Misha composed himself.

"We have time for another question or two." He said into the microphone. He turned to the next fan as she spoke.

"This question is for Misha. I was wondering if you could change any one thing about the show or your character, what it would be."

Jensen tensed, knowing the question's potential impact. He turned to Misha who smiled, though it wasn't in happiness. He bit his lower lip and nodded for a moment. Jensen could tell he was trying to figure out an answer.

"Honestly, I love my character so much." Misha said after a moment. "I love how much Castiel has grown and the relationships he has now. I love what he stands for and the hope he's brought to people. I will forever be proud to have played him for as many years as I got to." He paused and clenched his jaw briefly. "If I could change anything I would make it known to the main three how important they are to each other. How much the world loves them and needs them. How much they need each other. They deserve to have that knowledge." He nodded to his own words and let his mike fall to this side. Jensen patted his back once in reassurance before he let go and stepped away.

The crowd was a mix of screaming "I love you!" and undecipherable chants. Jensen tried to calm them but then they were getting the sign that it was time to stop. Jensen waved to the crowd as they bid them adieu.

"We love you all." He said softly, and the crowd shouted it back at them. He looked to Misha who was faking a smile as he waved to the crowd with tear filled eyes. Jensen put his arm across Misha's shoulders and pulled him against his side as they waved their way off stage.

"I got you, man." He said softly. Misha nodded.

"I know."


	19. October

September passed quickly. Life was a flurry of filming, fundraisers, charity work, conventions, and Jensen. Misha adored all of the time he had with the man. Falling asleep beside his warmth on a nightly basis was the most grounding part of Misha's day. Despite the stress he felt, that was when he was the calmest.

October brought a slight change in temperature, but it was barely noticeable. To keep from drowning, he made himself focus on the show. _I'm going to give the fans my best for this last season. End on a high note._

He finished work for the day and retired to his trailer to shower and change into pajama pants. He contemplated a movie, but decided to browse social media instead. He got sucked in replying to fans and sharing his thoughts to the world. By the time the door opened to emit Jensen, it was already past dinnertime. He rubbed his tired eyes as Jensen juggled bags of food and a drink carrier.

They sat around Misha's small booth table to eat their burgers and fries. Jensen asked after his day and Misha shrugged. He had tried talking with Singer again and he still wouldn't give out more information on when they were killing him. He sighed and unwrapped his food. They ate in silence until Misha had finished inhaling his burger.

"Have you watched the new episode?" Jensen asked as he chewed. Misha looked over, twirling a crunchy fry between his fingers.

"I haven't. I'm not sure if I want to." Misha confessed. Jensen cocked his head to the side before nodding.

"We have the weekend. I'll watch it with you."

"Netflix and chill?" A smirk tugged at Misha's lips.

"Well TV and chill. Maybe some other things." A devilish smile appeared on Jensen's face and Misha's heart fluttered.

"I'm okay with that." Misha ate his fries and watched Jensen, enthralled with the man. Jensen looked up after he finished chewing a bite and quirked an eyebrow at him.

"What?"

"Even the way you eat knocks me the fuck out." Misha said simply, causing Jensen to lean back into a full bodied laugh. Misha smiled before Jensen's laugh turned contagious.

As Jensen went to the bathroom after they finished eating, Misha navigated the TV and found the recorded episode. He settled onto the couch with a long sigh. He wasn't entirely sure why he was against watching it now, but spending time with Jensen was never something he was going to turn down.

Jensen appeared from the bathroom. His khaki shorts were unzipped and Misha wiggled his eyebrows. "A present for me?" he said seductively. Jensen frowned and followed Misha's gaze, then zipped them with an eye roll.

The couch groaned as Jensen sat down beside him. He turned so he could lean his back against Misha's chest and Misha let his arm fall across Jensen's. Misha played the episode as Jensen rested his head back, his short hair tickling Misha's chin. Without thinking about it, Misha leaned down and pressed a kiss to the top of Jensen's head.

"Don't start stuff now. There are things we have to get done this weekend." Jensen growled playfully.

"We have time for both." Misha smiled into Jensen's hair and lightly ran his hand across Jensen's soft white shirt. Jensen let out an almost inaudible "mhm" as he reached up to lightly run his fingers across Misha's arm.

The episode flew by, but Misha didn't really absorb any of it. He couldn't tear his thoughts away from the man in his arms. As the credits rolled, Misha shifted and wrapped both arms tightly around Jensen. He buried his face into Jensen's hair again and breathed in his scent.

"You doin okay, Mishka?" Jensen asked softly. Misha smiled at the name and nodded.

"I'm just happy to have you."

"You've had me for years."

"Not like this." Misha murmured as he moved so he could trail kisses down Jensen's neck. He slipped his hand under Jensen's shirt through the collar, not caring it if stretched the neckline. Jensen melted back into him with a contented sigh. "Let's just stay here all weekend." Misha said, though it came out as question. Jensen nodded into him and hugged Misha's arms closer.


	20. Win Some Lose Some

Jensen was finally settling into a groove, thanks to Misha. He knew Misha was throwing himself into work so Jensen joined him. He hadn't stopped pestering Singer, and he knew he was being an ass but he didn't care. He wanted answers. Answers that agreed with him. He couldn't make his mind up if he should just back off or keep pressing the producers and directors.

The cool night air reminded Jensen he needed to find his jacket. Fall was settling in now that October was here and he was consistently chilly. He meandered for a while, glad to be outside after a long, long day on set. It wasn't until his wandering led him to the one spot he didn't actually want to be that he made a decision. He knew Singer was inside, and he was tired of having to wait.

He knocked harder then he meant to, and when the door opened Singer sighed in annoyance. "What now?" He asked.

"I want an answer."

"Just come in. It's chilly out."

Jensen stepped into the trailer the goosebumps that coated his arms slowly disappeared to the warmth. Singer glared at him as he returned to his small table where a plate of spaghetti was sitting, steaming.

"We have come to a decision." He announced before taking a large bite. Jensen bit back a snarl at the rudeness. _If I didn't love the fans so much I would just walk anyway. At least until they replaced him._

"We have decided that we _will_ bring Castiel back next season. It probably won't be until the mid-season break, but we plan on doing it."

Jensen stared at him, not sure he heard right. "You _are_ bringing him back?"

"Yes." Singer took another bite of his food as Jensen nodded, fighting the smile that wanted to explode across his face. He wouldn't give Singer that reaction.

"Thank you for reconsidering."

"Yeah whatever."

Jensen left the trailer, walking on air. He was ecstatic. The smile appeared as he hurried to Misha's trailer to tell him.

There were jack lanterns around Misha's door already and Jensen smirked. He went to open the door, but it was locked.

"It's me, Mishka!" He called but there was no answer. He fished the key from his pocket and opened the door to a dimly lit trailer. He called out again but received no response. _Well I do have to pee. Then I'll hunt him down._ He smirked at himself. _Ha. Hunt._ He started for the bathroom, but Misha called out from the bedroom.

" No!" Misha cried out and it made Jensen's steps falter. When he stepped into the bedroom, the smell of vomit hit him. Misha was tossing around on the bed. He was clad in boxers and all the blankets were a tangled mess at his feet. His hair was wild and his brow held deeper lines than normal as he frowned. Jensen reached down and touched his warm arm, making Misha jump.

"Hey, man. What's wrong?" Jensen asked, trying not to inhale, but Misha didn't reply. His brow relaxed briefly before he frowned again as he whimpered. Jensen sat on the edge of the bed and went to poke Misha's face, but his scruffy cheek was _hot._ Jensen laid his palm against Misha's face and confirmed the fever. _Well shit._ Jensen looked around, trying to figure out what to do.

He stood and strode to the bathroom where he wet a washcloth. There was an upturned trashcan in the shower and the bathroom smelled of bile. He covered his face with his shirt and hurried out. He returned and carefully laid the washcloth across Misha's forehead, but he started tossing and turning again. Jensen gently grabbed Misha's face in his hands and held him still.

"Mishka, you're okay. I'm here, man." He said soothingly. Misha's frown disappeared and his body stilled, but the heat under Jensen's hands was worrisome. He let go, only to hear a whimper in response. Jensen sank back onto the edge of Misha's bed and laid his hand across his friend's arm.

"You're safe. Just rest." Jensen spoke softly and Misha stilled again. Jensen realized he'd forgotten his phone in his trailer before his walk, so he had no idea what time it was. The window was covered with a thick blanket, which made it quite dark in the room without the bathroom light on. Jensen sighed and looked over at Misha, who was now resting, seemingly, peacefully. Jensen kicked off his shoes and scooted towards the headboard. Misha had a TV on the other side of the small room and Jensen smirked. _I wonder what he uses THAT for._ The remote was next to him on the nightstand so he muted it before turning it on. _Probably not much anymore._ _Ha._

Jensen was a good twenty minutes into a show when Misha turned. Jensen looked down and realized he had been playing with Misha's dark hair. He pulled his hand away to scratch his neck and resumed watching the show, only to have Misha nuzzle his leg in search of the hand again. Jensen resisted a laugh and instead threaded his fingers back into Misha's hair. Misha stilled with a sigh, his back now firmly pressed against the length of Jensen's leg.

Jensen continued to watch Misha. _He's always so peaceful and quiet when he sleeps._ Jensen smoothed the dark hair in various places with his fingertips. Misha's face was slightly cooler now, though he knew it probably wouldn't last. Jensen got up to pee again and rewet the washcloth.

As he returned a yawn made his jaw ache. He placed the washcloth across Misha's forehead and stared down at him for a moment, contemplating letting him rest or staying over. _Well he is sick and feverish. He needs you._

Jensen unbuttoned his long sleeve and let it fall to the floor before climbing back into the bed. This time he sank down lower, using pillows to prop him up more comfortably. Misha wriggled around until he was facing Jensen, who watched as he pressed his face against Jensen's side briefly before draping an arm across Jensen's middle. Jensen stared down at him, wondering what he say would if he were awake to notice.

He reached down and smoothed the exposed side of Misha's hair as the TV show returned. Before long his eyelids began to droop, and combined with the warmth radiating from the arm and body pressed against his, Jensen fell asleep.

The first thing Jensen was aware of several hours later was the roiling pain all throughout his abdomen. He clenched his fists and curled into a ball at the stabbing pain that followed. He groped for the edge of the bed. _I need a bathroom_.

Groaning was a mistake, he realized as vomit shot up his throat. He staggered as quickly a she could to the bathroom, managing to keep it in until he reached the toilet. His body heaved until nothing came up but saliva. He sank onto the floor, all of his limbs in pain and shaking. _Oh shit._ His eyes closed as he shivered on the cold bathroom floor, which actually felt really nice to his bare arms and back.

Jensen's eyes popped open a short while later as the urge to vomit returned. This time accompanied by the need to shit also. He grasped the trashcan from the shower as he hurriedly sat on the toilet before it started coming from both ends. He let out a low groan as it finally abated.

"M-" He tried to call but vomit replaced his words. As he finished he wiped his mouth and managed to call out.

"Misha!"

A groan replied and Jensen hung his head. _I'm gonna die. Ugh._

Jensen wasn't sure how much time had passed by the time he woke up _without_ the urge to violently eject liquid from his body. He moaned and rolled to his side on the bathroom floor before slowly standing. He rinsed his mouth out and washed his hands vigorously before shuffling from the bathroom to check on Misha.

He found him at the table, his head in his arms. "You okay?" Jensen mumbled. Misha looked over and Jensen hoped he didn't look as shitty as Misha did. Movement in the kitchen startled Jensen as Jared appeared with a plate in his hands.

"Oh good. You're finally awake. Are you hungry yet?" He asked. His hair was pulled into a high ponytail and if Jensen didn't feel like utter death he would have laughed.

"Not for another week I think." He moaned as he worked his way to sit by Misha. The smell of Misha's oatmeal made his stomach roll. _You can't possibly still be upset. You've been dry heaving for probably hours._ He groaned.

"Why are you here, Jared?" He asked around his hands.

"I came looking when neither of you showed up for work. Singer was pretty livid."

"I don't care. He's a total jackass."

"Yeah." Jared chuckled. "But I found Misha awake, but not functional. Then Moaning Myrtle in the bathroom told me I needed to stay and help out. You better not get me sick too."

"I won't promise that." Jensen mumbled as he rubbed at his eyes. He felt _gross._ "I think I need a shower. Burn off the germs and my skin. Will feel better."

That's okay. I need to run to get bleach and some other things. I'll be back soon, okay?"

"Okay." Jensen stood on wobbly legs as Jared walked towards the door. Misha turned around and called out.

"Thank you, Jared." He said in a very Cas-like voice. Jared waved with a nod and left.

"Do you need anythin?" Jensen asked Misha before heading to the bathroom. Misha shook his head.

"Sorry I got you sick too."

"It's okay. I'll live. I hope." He paused to study Misha's sad expression. "You can just make it up to me once we both feel well." He smirked at the glare Misha shot him. Jensen winked and turned to the bathroom, the smile melting from his face once Misha couldn't see. _Oh I wanna sleep for a month._

Jared returned with a change of clothes and Jensen's phone. He accepted the phone, but he had already stolen pajama pants from Misha. He was surprised to find out it was lunch time. He hadn't even thought to ask for the time before. He noticed several missed calls from people but he silenced his phone as he settled onto the couch. The air kicked in and blew chilly breeze onto him, but at the same time he was too warm so he left it. He watched as Jared went around cleaning. Misha had gone to take a shower as Jared cleaned. He pulled an armful of laundry from the bedroom and piled it by the door in a garbage bag.

Misha returned from his shower with wild hair and a soft blanket. He wrapped it around his bare shoulders as he sank onto Jensen's lap, who laughed out loud. Misha turned to him with a frown and tried to scoot off, but Jensen wrapped his arms around and pulled Misha to him. Misha scooted down until he could rest his head against Jensen's shoulder and sighed slowly. Jared handed Jensen the remote as he passed through the room. Jensen was happy to find more DVR'd episodes of Arrow.

He rested his cheek against Misha's head and watched the show. His arm was propped up on the arm of the couch and helped support Misha's weight. It was warm and the blanket was soft against his chest. Before long, Misha's breathing evened out into sleep and Jensen smiled.

He didn't remember turning the TV off. Or Jared leaving. Or moving to a laying down position with Misha still in his arms. He sat up, his mouth beyond dry, and squirmed his way off of the couch to get a drink. The sky was dark through the windows and he shook his head. _A whole day gone._ He downed a glass of water before he returned to the couch and scooped Misha into his arms. With a groan he lifted him and made his way to the bedroom, where clean bedding was waiting. Misha barely stirred as Jensen sat him down and curled up beside him.


	21. Halloween Pt 1

"You're supposed to be having fun, Jensen." Misha said as he poked Jensen's back. Jensen made a grumpy noise and turned around, a Mardi Gras mask in one hand and a pair of fake handcuffs in the other.

"This shop sucks balls." Jensen said with a frown. Misha smirked and looked around the small Halloween costume shop. _We have to find something for Jared's party._ A pair of angel wings caught his eye and he weaved his way to the wall they were hanging on. Dark black feathers were hung on a wire frame that was attached to a shoulder harness. They were large enough that they would even fit Jensen's wide shoulders. He turned with a smile but Jensen rolled his eyes.

"Are you really going to go as Castiel? Doesn't that get old?"

"No, it doesn't." Misha replied as he reached up to pet the soft feathers. _I actually don't want to go as Cas. But what else can we do?_ He looked around the shop again. On the opposite wall, a shield caught his eye. He walked past Jensen, who sighed before turning to follow him.

Misha stood on his toes to reach the round shield. When he had a good grasp he pulled it down, surprised with the weight of it. The shield was metal, which was also surprising. He looked at it as an idea formed in his head.

"That is the most mischievous look I have ever seen." Jensen said lowly. "And that's saying a lot because I see you all the time." Misha smiled at him.

"I know what we're doing. Here, take this to the counter and I'll be along."

Jensen took the heavy shield with a grunt as Misha shoved it against his chest. Before Jensen could say anything Misha was hurrying away to see what else he could gather from the shop before he looked online.

It took him a lot longer than he expected to hunt down the things he needed for both costumes. He spent more than Jensen had wanted to. _It's just a Halloween party with friends. It doesn't need to be over the top._ Jensen had said as Misha drug him towards the Halloween shop. Misha smiled as he opened his last package and pulled out the black long sleeved shirt. "Perfect."

"Misha!" Jensen hollered through the front door of Misha's trailer. Misha shut the bathroom door with his foot so he could finish getting dressed before Jensen came inside. He grinned as he pulled the under armor style shirt on. It was _snug._ He stepped into the black cargo pants as Jensen entered the trailer.

"Misha are you in the bathroom?" Jensen asked through the door.

"Yes!" Misha replied, muffled from the mask he pulled over his mouth and nose. "Give me a few minutes!"

"Alright." Jensen sighed before walking away. Misha pulled on the knee pads and heavy black boots quickly. He was eager to see Jensen's reaction. He looked into the mirror once more after he had his holsters and pads on. His hair was pretty wild, but he didn't want to deal with a wig. _Short haired Winter Soldier it is!_ He reached for the door handle with his non-metal gloved hand.

Jensen was sitting on the couch playing with his phone when the bathroom door opened. He had been eyeing the shield that was covered with a blanket on the kitchen table. _What did Misha think up this time?_ He wondered as he heard heavy footsteps approach. He turned around and froze at the man standing in the hall.

Misha stared at him coolly. If it weren't for his bright blue eyes that were wrinkled in amusement, Jensen might not have known it was him at first. Jensen closed his mouth as he slowly dragged his gaze across Misha's body. The black shirt he wore was very detailed. It looked like the movie suit. It was also skin tight and gave Jensen a clear idea of Misha's torso underneath. He had on a thick holster belt around his waist but it was the slightly-tighter-than-normal black cargo pants that caught Jensen's eyes. He was also wearing kneepads and high boots that looked heavy.

"Think it works?" Misha asked through the mask.

"You look like the fuckin' Winter Soldier." Jensen replied dumbly. He brought his gaze back to Misha's face and stood from the couch in order to get closer. He reached out and touched the "metal" arm, amazed with how smooth the fabric was. The sleeve ended under a glove that Misha wore. The glove had plates of metal on it to look the part. Jensen smirked at him before reaching up to run his hands through Misha's already crazy sex hair.

"Your hair is only supposed to look like that after I'm done with you." Jensen growled lowly. Misha laughed and reached up to pull the mask off.

"That mask was $20, but I don't think I'm going to wear it. It isn't very comfortable." Misha said as he rubbed at the lines on his face. Jensen shrugged one shoulder and used his grip on Misha's hair to pull him closer.

"Works for me." He said before kissing Misha gently. After a moment Misha pushed away.

"We still have to get you ready so stop. I don't want to be late. Rob's band is playing."

"They play at all the conventions." Jensen said.

"I know. But you don't always sing at them like you will tonight."

Jensen opened his mouth to reply but Misha was suddenly pulling him to the bedroom. "Let's get your suit on!"

"What suit? Misha, what are you going to do to me?" Jensen asked as he was drug by the hand. Misha chuckled and ignored the questions.

"Are you kidding me, man?" Jensen groaned as Misha pulled out the red, white, and blue long sleeved shirt that matched the movie version of Captain America's suit. Misha shook his head and motioned Jensen to undress. With a defeated huff, Jensen pulled off his t-shirt and took the soft one from Misha.

"Holy shit this is tight." Jensen muttered as he struggled into the shirt. Misha smirked as he pulled a pair of dark blue cargo pants from the box on his bed. Jensen got the shirt on and took the pants as Misha pulled out boots.

"How much did you spend on these!?" Jensen asked as he eyes the materials. They were almost cosplay level clothing.

"Enough. Just hurry up." Misha disappeared from the bedroom as Jensen rolled his eyes.

Despite the snug fit, Jensen had to admit the suit looked good. Misha had spiked Jensen's hair before they went to the kitchen, where Misha revealed the painted shield.

"Do you expect me to carry that all night?" Jensen asked, eyeing the round hunk of metal. _That thing isn't light._

"Yes. I have a harness for you to wear so you can put it on your back." Misha gave him that puppy dog eye look and Jensen found himself smiling at the expression. _He put so much into these costumes. Why does he have to be so damn cute?_

"Fine." Jensen growled as he pulled the shield onto his arm. He looked expectantly at Misha, who was watching him with a sultry expression.

"Don't start anything now. You keep bugging me about being late." Jensen said, lifting the shield to hide himself. Misha laughed loudly and pulled the mask from around his neck to cover his face.

Misha offered his metal arm and Jensen linked his into it. _This will be a fun party._


	22. Halloween Pt 2

Unlike he had been told the party was _not_ at Jared's house. Jensen grumbled as he followed the Google Maps voice to the cabin Jared had texted them about. _After_ they had already left.It was dark out but the highway was busy. Jensen tried to focus on the road, but he kept sneaking glances at Misha in the passenger seat as he did a live stream on Facebook as the Winter Soldier.

"Just because it is Halloween, does not mean the world is not in need of saving." Misha had been speaking in a random Batman-like voice. Jensen struggled not to laugh. "Tonight of all nights, the world needs to be kept safe."

"If you must venture out on this night, make sure to wear something reflective. Monsters have reflective things. Stay away from open flames. They hurt you. And above all else, send half of your candy to me. My address is in the comment section once this video ends."

"I am here with Captain America on our way to save the world from evil forces. These creatures of the night have tried to thwart us by leading us astray. But we know their true location." Misha snapped his head to the side so he could stare at Jensen, who looked over worried for a second.

"Cap, are we almost to the creature's liar?"

"Uh. Yes?" Jensen said.

"Very well then. Minions, I must go. Be safe and send me your candy." Misha pulled his mask down and smiled at his phone as he cupped his mouth with his free hand. "You don't actually have to. I love you all anyway."

He ended the live stream and typed on his phone for a couple minutes. Jensen was still smirking.

"They're lucky to have you." Jensen said after a moment. Misha looked over at him.

"Because I'm random and silly?"

"Because you include them. And you're random and silly." Jensen took the exit that the robotic voice yelled at him about then reached over and took Misha's hand in his own. Misha smiled at him and laced their fingers together.

There was a line of vehicles parked alongside the wooded road so far back that they couldn't even see the cabin. Jensen pulled in behind the red Taurus on their right and looked to Misha.

"Is this the start of an episode? Cause I feel like it is."

"Yeah this seems kinda murdery." Misha looked at him with a playful expression.

"It wouldn't be weird to carry an actual gun…would it?" Jensen asked, knowing he had one in the car. He looked at the holster around his thigh. _That would fit my gun._

"Not really…but are you actually going to?"

"No. I think we could handle anything that comes at us." Jensen winked at him and opened his door. He waited for Misha to join him on the gravel road before he locked the car and pulled the heavy shield onto his arm. Misha's mask was on again and he wiggled his eyebrows at Jensen. Their footsteps crunched on the gravel. Jensen knew it was mostly from the heavy boots they both wore. It was comforting though. He wasn't sure if it was because of the day of the year or the dark, car lined dirt road in the middle of nowhere, but he really did feel like they were being watched. He took a break from scanning around them to glance at Misha to see if he looked worried, but he was watching Jensen, his eyes wrinkled in a smile. Jensen pushed him hard enough so he stumbled sideways a few steps with a laugh.

"Shut up."

The music became noticeable after they passed twenty more cars; Jensen had counted. They could tell it was a wide variety of genres as they neared the cabin. The yard was lit up with string lights and there was a tent peeking out from the backyard. Jensen smiled at the sight of the cabin. It had been over a year since he had been here. There were people all around, mostly talking in varying sized groups. A few walked around the groups looking like they had a destination. Jensen tried to take in the large assortment of costumes, but there were so many. He saw more Avengers, Justice League, a piece of bacon, an egg, a T-rex, a couple clowns, some "sexy" nurses, doctors, and a mermaid. He waved happily at a guy dressed as Green Arrow.

"You are such a fanboy." Misha murmured beside him.

"It's a good show!" Jensen replied defensively. Misha's laugh drifted off into the cool night air. Jensen was glad it wasn't cold out. They walked into the full cabin and tried to find Jared, or Rob, or anyone really.

It took a solid twenty minutes before Rob found them. Jensen laughed at his "sexy" nurse costume. He didn't realize that's who he had seen when they arrived. Rob looked up at them with narrowed eyes and the hat on his head shifted.

"Nice costumes…." He said as he stepped close enough so they could hear him.

"They're Misha's idea." Jensen said, lightly pushing Misha again. He looked down at Rob with a smirk. "Who did you lose a bet to?"

"No one. I have always enjoyed these costumes."

Jensen laughed, throwing himself into it without thought. It wasn't until he looked over through tear filled eyes that he realized Misha wasn't laughing too, just grinning at him. He tried to calm down but it was hard. _I feel great and I haven't had anything to drink yet._

"Anyway, I need to get the band ready so I'll catch you guys later." He clapped Jensen on the back as he passed. "I'm looking forward to your addition to the show!" He walked away before Jensen could say anything, so he turned his glare to Misha, who smirked and slipped into the crowd. Jensen growled under his breath and tried to follow him, but he was quick. He gave up and decided to meander.

The music switched to a Taylor Swift song and Jensen smirked as he sang along to himself. He took a sip of the alcoholic mixed drink he swiped from the counter in the kitchen. It was being continually refilled by a Jessica Jones and Luke Cage. Jessica smiled at him and he lifted his shield in with a nod as he threaded his way to the backyard. He ended up on the back porch which held a view of the moonlit lake where some of the party guests were swimming and splashing. _That has to be so damn cold._ He set his shield down with a sigh of relief.

"Hey! There you are!" Jared called as he stumbled up the steps onto the porch. Jensen smirked at his farmer outfit. He had on a dusty plaid shirt and pair of jeans over cowboy boots. A cowboy hat was nestled onto his head and he had his hair pulled into a ponytail again.

"So I've had a little to drink tonight but I'm too excited so I'm going to tell you." He leaned against the wall close to Jensen, knocking the shield over with a loud clatter. "Gen is going to have a baby." He slurred. Jensen stared at him with wide eyes.

"What, really?"

"Yeah." Jared's smile practically split his face. "A baby! Finally!"

"Did you guys talk about kids a while ago?"

"Yeah but it just didn't take. Did now though! Whoop!"

Jensen smiled and pulled Jared into a hug. "I'm so happy for you, man." He said sincerely. Jared nodded into his shoulder and pushed away.

"I already told Meeesha. Don't be mad."

"I'm not mad, man. That's awesome." Jensen was grinning widely. He knew how much this meant to Jared.

"Misha wasn't as excited as I thought he would be." Jared said with a slight frown. "I mean he smiled and hugged me too. I've gotten a lot of hugs tonight. HA."

"What do you mean though, Jared? Misha?"

"Well he was all excited about Gen's news but then when I brought up Cas coming back to the show after being dead from mid-season break to mid-season break and he looked like I hit him. I thought he might have had a bad drink."

Jensen stared at Jared, feeling frozen . _I know I told him. It's been four days. I told him…..fuck._ Jared's words fully sank in then.

 _"_ Did you say the mid-season break is when they're killing Cas?"

"Yeah. We were told on set yesterday. Well those of us that were there, ya know? Oh hey! I see my lovely watermelon. Bye!"

Jensen watched him try to hurry towards Gen, who was wearing a cut off shirt and dusty jeans. She had painted her abdomen to resemble a watermelon, but Jensen couldn't find the humor. _They told everyone but us? Why?_ He scanned the outdoor crowd for Misha, wishing he had kept his cellphone on him. _Shit._


	23. Halloween Pt 3

Misha wished the sink had edges he could grasp. Maybe then his hands wouldn't be shaking. He stared at, but didn't really see, the running water as it splashed against the black ceramic of the sink. Jared's drunk-slurred voice was rebounding inside his skull. _Gen's having a baby! MY baby! It's so cool. Cas only being dead from this Christmas break to next is the next coolest though. Jensen's bitchin' finally paid off!_

 _They're killing me…him by Christmas. I don't even get a full season._ Misha tried to still his trembling breaths. _No he said Cas will be back next Christmas. They're bringing me back._ Misha couldn't form a thought train that would help him make sense of Jared's words. He understood what was said, and maybe it was the alcohol he had chugged with Rich when they ran into each other, but at the same time he couldn't process it.

Music sounded outside, louder than before. He could tell it was the band starting. He closed his eyes and turned off the water he hadn't used. The voices outside the bathroom in the hall were gone now too. _Jensen is going to sing. Should go listen to him._ Misha recalled some of his favorite mental images of Jensen and focused on those to steady his trembling breathing _. Countless sunny days filming on a backroad in the Impala where the sun shone on him and even the brightest leaves struggled to match the color of his eyes. Jensen asleep on the couch of his trailer, their hands entwined. The look of adoration on Jensen's face after he turned to Misha while they lay on the soaked ground after finished the Double M marathon. Being pushed against a wall and seeing desire dilate his eyes until green was almost nonexistent._

He focused on the flashes of images he had made himself remember, during the moment they happened, until he was able to stand straight and walk from the bathroom. He left the empty cabin as the crowd outside exploded with deafening cheers. He pulled on his mask again as he threaded his way into the crowd. He was almost to the front when strong hands grasped at his arm and halted him. He turned with a scowl, only to have it dissolve as he looked up at Jensen's knitted brow. _He's so handsome._ Without warning, Jensen pulled Misha into his arms.

"I'm so sorry I didn't tell you." He said right into Misha's ear. Misha found himself nodding and trying to find something to grasp, but Jensen's skin-tight shirt gave no handholds.

"I swear I meant to. But we got sick and I just didn't and I'm so sorry."

"it's okay, Jensen." Misha found himself feeling bad that Jensen was so worked up. "I knew it was going to happen."

"I'm sorry about not telling you the good news, man!" Jensen pushed away so he could look at Misha. His eyes fell into shadow as someone dimmed the lights all across the backyard. They looked around as the stage lights under the big tent became brighter in their place. Misha wished he could see the calming green eyes he adored, but he settled for resting his head on Jensen's shoulder. Jensen's arms held him tighter as the band played another song. People were scream/singing with the song and dancing in place all around them. After a few minutes Jensen leaned in to speak in his ear.

"Are you okay?" Misha felt Jensen's fingers run lightly through Misha's hair and he shifted his head so he could reply.

"I don't know right now. I uh, drank a lot already. Kinda buzzed." Misha frowned at himself for lying, but he honestly didn't know how he was or what his thoughts were. There was a jumbled mass of emotions in his chest that buzzed and hurt and he didn't know what to think of it. He felt Jensen nod before they slowly started to sway to the music. Misha wound his arms around Jensen and locked his hands together. _Where is his shield?_ Misha didn't want to talk anymore though. He took a mental note of the moment to store away with the others.

All too soon, Rob's voice replaced the music as he called out for Jensen to join them. Misha pulled away from Jensen, who was looking at the stage with a frown.

"It's okay, go. I'll go to the front to watch. " Misha said with a nod.

"Are you sure? I promise I don't have to." Jensen said as he held onto Misha's hips loosely.

"It's always calming. Please go sing something." Misha motioned him towards the stage and Jensen nodded before reluctantly leaving. Misha followed him through the crowd, realizing how many people were there and he idly wondered how many noticed their embrace. The lights hadn't been dimmed the entire time.

He smiled softly at Jensen whenever their gazes met as Jensen sang through numerous songs with the band. Most were ones they had practiced together and performed at the majority of the conventions. Misha watched as Jensen took an offered guitar and the rest of the band kind of melted into the darkness of the tent as the focus was turned to Jensen.

Misha didn't even hear the lyrics as he lost himself in watching Jensen sing. It was always one of his favorite parts of conventions and even when they were alone. Jensen would sing randomly throughout his day, most of the time without realizing it. Misha felt some of the heaviness on his shoulders disappear as he stared at the man that held his heart. _Just enjoy the party. You can worry about the other stuff later._

After a couple more songs, Jensen bowed his way off the stage. The lights came back on as Rob announced they were taking a short break. Some of the people around Misha were calling for Jensen to continue, but as he threaded his way towards Misha, the people thanked him. Misha was still content to watch Jensen, even though he was just talking to people. The way the suit showed off his body made Misha glad he had found it. Misha could tell Jensen didn't want to talk to the people that stopped him, but he did it anyway as he eyed Misha.

Misha finally shook himself from his daze and walked over. He mumbled something about needing Cap and someone giggled as Misha tugged Jensen away. Jensen's arm covered Misha's shoulders and pulled him tightly against his side. Misha's mind might have been confused, but as he looked over he knew his heart was content.

"I don't want to go home any time soon." Misha said as they reached the cabin. Jensen looked down at him with a small, worried smile.

"If you want to stay, I'm fine with that. The party is supposed to last most of the night."

They passed a group of women, all dressed as vampire slayers, who giggled at them. Misha smirked. _Well they get the costume choice at least._ He winked at the one that looked like Buffy and wound his arm around Jensen's waist. _Let them talk._ He saw the flash of a camera behind them and started laughing.

"What's so funny?" Jensen asked as they reached the kitchen. A couple of robots passed them on their way out, both with plates of food.

"The fans are going to love photos of this party." Misha replied.

"There are some pretty awesome costumes that's for sure." Misha caught Jensen's side eye look but pretended he didn't notice. "But the way you move in yours is by far the best." Jensen added lowly. Misha grinned at him before glancing around to make sure they were alone.


	24. The Stillness

Bird calls pulled Jensen awake. He was _cold_ but there was a warm weight on his chest and across his knees. He opened his eyes to find the underside of his shield above him. He turned his head to see Misha's head nestled in the crook of his arm, also under the shield. One of Misha's legs and an arm were draped across Jensen. Jensen smiled as he reached up and shifted the shield to the side with his free arm. He blinked up at the early sun-lit trees above him. A bird was sitting in a high branch out of sight and singing happily.

Jensen looked around and memories of the night before slowly filtered back into his head as he took in the beach around them. There were a couple other human looking bundles in the sand but he guessed most hadn't wanted to brave the cold October night air. The small campfire they had was out at Jensen's booted feet. He was _hungry._

He looked down at Misha. In the softest voice he could manage he whispered as he stroked Misha's wild hair. "I hope you have a better day today." He knew the news from the night before had been a lot to handle and he was fairly sure Misha had just shut down all thoughts on it. They had a good night, but he was worried for when the news actually caught up to Misha. "You better not lie to me about being drunk again either." He said with a frown.

Jensen jumped when Misha replied in a morning heavy mumble. "I was drunk."

"I thought you were asleep."

"I am."

"You're talking, Misha."

"M sleep talkin'." Misha nuzzled into Jensen's chest as Jensen rolled his eyes.

"I've seen you drunk, man. You were buzzed last night."

"M sorry."

They stayed silent for several minutes. Jensen stretched his free arm again and his hand connected with a log. He listened to the birds sing as he remembered dragging the log from the trees so they could prop the shield up. Finally he leaned down to kiss the top of Misha's wood-smoke scented head.

"I hope you know that I'm here for you. I love you, Misha."

Misha shifted and looked up at Jensen with eyes that mirrored the sky. "I've kinda always loved you."

"I know." Jensen smiled softly. "Sorry it took me so long to get that."

"You're okay. It was fun."

Jensen laughed, his head falling back against the sand. "I'm sure fun isn't the right word for dealing with me."

"Well last night was fun." Misha added as he moved out of Jensen's arms in order to stretch. "I don't remember the last time I snuck around at a party to make out with my date."

"Me neither. I'm hungry though. Do you want to head out?"

Misha settled with his hands behind his head. The black shirt looked _so_ damn good on him. _Whatever made him choose these costumes, thank you._ Jensen found himself reaching to run his hand across Misha's chest and over his abdomen. Misha's eyes closed as a sigh escaped his lips.

"Yeah I could go for a waffle. Probably a couple pots of coffee. I'm freezing." Misha replied when Jensen's hands stilled. Misha smiled over at Jensen. "You are usually warm enough that I'm sweating like hell."

"Yeah. Sleeping outside will do that." Jensen replied before pushing himself onto his side so he could lean over and kiss the smile from Misha's lips.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Jensen asked as Misha got out of the car. Jensen shut his own door and walked around the front to join Misha as they paused before separating to go to their trailers. They needed to be at work in an hour. Eating had taken longer than they planned. Well, getting lost on the way back had taken the most time.

"I'm fine, really." Misha said for the fourth time. He looked over at Jensen with a fed-up expression, which he immediately softened. "I need to shave and get ready. See you at work?"

"Okay." Jensen watched him turn and walk to his trailer. _He's going to have to wear that shirt more often._ Jensen went to his own trailer to shower the sand out of his hair and shave. He realized as he stepped inside that he hadn't looked over the script once in almost a week. _Great._

Jensen wondered where Misha was as he arrived on set. He asked Jared but he tiredly shrugged. "You look like shit, man." Jensen said affectionately. Jared smiled.

"Worth it."

They took their places and got ready for the scene. Jensen had barely skimmed over the script and wasn't looking forward to the part that read "Castiel arrives to warn the brothers" He glanced around for Misha again, feeling uneasy.

Sam closed a book with a snap, making Dean jump and spin around. He'd been on edge for days, ever since Cas disappeared, and Sam didn't seem to notice or care. He turned to his brother with a quirked eyebrow.

"Sorry. The Princes are going to be pissed if this plan works." Sam stated.

"That's a given, Sammy." Dean relaxed a little as he leaned against the bookcase.

"They're going to come after us, Dean."

"So what's new? We always have someone after us. We beat the devil, and God, and Michael and the other angels. We can handle these."

"No but you don't understand. They-"

The brothers both jumped when the doors slammed open. Castiel shuffled through the door, looking to Dean with a worry creased brow. One of his eyes was completely swollen and bruised. He reached out for Dean as he staggered and fell.

"Cas!?" They yelled in unison as they rushed over. Sam looked to Dean with worry as Dean pulled the angel into his arms.

"Cas, c'mon buddy." He murmured. Cas's one eye looked up at him.

"You're safe now." Cas whispered before his hand fell to the floor and he passed out. Dean took in the split lip, bloody cut on his cheek, grossly swollen eye, and the bruises around his neck. His gaze slid to Cas's chest as the hand he had placed there came away wet. Cas's entire abdomen was soaked with dark blood that oozed out at an alarming rate. Dean looked to Sam as panic gripped him. He felt tears threaten his eyes and he blinked them away as Sam hurried off for a first aid kit. Dean looked back down at Cas and smoothed his wild, blood matted hair.

"Don't leave us, Cas. Don't leave me." He begged in the stillness. It was then he realized Cas wasn't breathing. He laid Cas onto the floor and positioned him before beginning CPR. Sam returned moments later and froze as he watched Dean's hand pump Cas's still chest.


	25. Is This Just Fantasy?

Dean lost himself in the motions of resuscitation. He raged inside his head. Raged at Crowley for dragging them into this. At Cas for doing whatever he had done without them. He told _Dean_ to be safe but he went out and tried to get himself killed. His anger grew as another minute passed and Cas showed no sign of stirring. With a cry of pain and rage, Dean continued CPR. He leaned down and pressed his mouth against Cas's trying to give him air. A distant call prodded at the edge of his mind as he closed his eyes and willed Cas to life.

The call for "cut" sounded again but it was Misha's voice that startled Jensen out of character. He focused his gaze as Misha called his name again. Misha had Jensen's wrists in a firm grasp and was holding himself up by his forearms. Jensen swallowed away the lump in his throat and sat back on his knees. Misha gently released one of his clenched fists in order to touch Jensen's face as he sat up with him. Jensen couldn't breathe, or reply. He stared at Misha, his eyes darting across his beaten face.

"Are you okay? Misha said softly as a hand appeared on Jensen's shoulder. He didn't need to look to know it was Jared. He shook his head and quickly pushed himself to his feet before hurrying from the room. Arguing began behind him but he blocked it out as he hurried away.

Misha caught up with him as Jensen reached the exit of the building. A strong grip on Jensen's arm slowed him, but he didn't stop walking until he felt the sun on his face. He took several steadying breaths as he focused on the sun, wishing the breeze wasn't pushing away its heat.

Misha stood closely by, his hand on Jensen's arm. They stood in silence for a while before Jensen was able to turn around and face him. His heart stuttered at the sight, even though he knew it was just special effects. It always bothered him when Jared or Misha were done up to look like shit.

"I- I can't." Jensen shook his head. "I wasn't expecting this. You play dead too damn well. Fuckin' hell, Misha." He took another breath. "I got so lost in Dean. He was panicking and I just went along with it. It seemed so real."

"It's alright, Jensen." Misha said, stepping closer. "Besides, this isn't how Cas dies. I know how he goes out now."

"They told you?" Jensen looked up, but Misha wasn't watching him. Misha nodded and changed the topic.

"You didn't even give them a chance to bring in the dummy to resuscitate." Misha rubbed at his chest with one of his hands. "I'm just glad you didn't break one of my ribs. Kinda lost you for a minute there." Jensen's eyes widened.

"I'm sorry." Jensen looked at Misha's chest, as if there would be more wounds, but real. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine." Misha assured him. "Are you okay to finish the scene?"

Jensen let the topic of Cas's death go; knowing Misha would tell him when he was ready. "Yeah just give me a minute to clear my head. I'll be right in."

Misha stared at Jensen for a moment before nodding and turning back for the building. After he was inside Jensen let out the trembling breath he had been holding in. _He's fine. It's fine. You're fine._ He closed his eyes as clouds moved to cover the sun, making him shiver.

Dean jumped when Cas took a gasping breath before he lashed out at him and Sam with an angel blade that suddenly appeared. They jumped back as Cas rolled over, coughing wetly. He glared around him before settling his gaze on Dean. His eyes widened and he looked around frantically again.

"Dean?" He called out. "How, no…why am I here!" Dean scooted closer and gathered the angel in his arms, trying to keep him calm.

"It's me buddy. Are you okay? What the hell happened?"

"I…I got the Princes off of your trail. Hopefully for good."

"Why?" Dean demanded, suddenly angry. "Why wouldn't you have us help you? It's our choices that led to them after us. We can handle them, man."

Cas looked up, his one eye pleading. "You can't though. Not this time."

"That's what I was trying to tell you, Dean." Sam cut in. "There's too many of them now. They've turned everyone away from us. They're winning, man."

"That's bullshit, Sammy." Dean snapped. "They don't get to beat one of us to a bloody pulp and live." He looked down as Cas went slack in his arms again, this time still breathing but no longer conscious. "Not on my watch." He murmured.

The call for cut sounded and Jensen shook his head, trying to release the emotions he knew he didn't need. Misha opened his eye and reached over to gently grasp Jensen's wrist. "Still okay?" He asked softly. Jensen nodded and stood before pulling Misha to his feet.

Misha rubbed at his chest again before grimacing at the fake blood making his shirt stick to him. Jensen closed his eyes and tried to forget the sight. Misha's hand on his arm made him look a moment later though.

"I need to go get ready for my next scene. See you tonight if I don't see you before?"

Jensen nodded and bent his wrist so he could squeeze Misha's hand. He watched Misha leave set as the crew began cleaning up. He sighed and went towards the exit to clear his mind again. As he left the building, he looked up for the sun but it was hidden behind heavy clouds. Jensen sighed and walked around until he was called back in for more scenes.


	26. Caught In A Landslide

Castiel struggled out of his bed. He had been given clean clothes; plaid pants for sleeping in and a loose t-shirt that he suspected was Dean's even though he owned his own. The shower he had taken helped with the grime and ache in his bruised muscles, but where Sam had stitched him up hurt fiercely. He missed his grace, for more reasons than one.

Talking Dean into not staying with him had been a challenge. He was grateful for Sam stepping in. He shuffled from his room, relying on his eyes to guide him so he didn't risk waking the brothers with a light. He still couldn't see from his swollen eyes, but it didn't hurt as bad after Dean spent an hour icing it on and off. He slowly worked his way to the Bunker's library in the stillness of the late-night hour.

He reluctantly turned on one light so he could read the titles and begin his search. He _needed_ to find something quickly. He needed to leave the bunker as soon as possible. If the Princes knew he had returned here….he closed his eye as he pulled a thick tome from the shelf. After a moment he sighed and began to scan through the book in his hands.

There were several books open on the table in front of him. His eyes both ached and his head was pounding painfully but he read on. The clock told him it was nearing morning but he couldn't stop. He had hoped he could find a cure for the curse faster than this.

"How long you been in here, Cas?" Sam spoke softly from the doorway. Cas jumped, gasping in pain as the stitches on his abdomen pulled.

"Most of the night." He said truthfully, avoiding the youngest brother's gaze. Sam walked over and leaned across Cas's shoulders to read the open pages.

"You're not telling us everything, are you?" He asked with understanding. Cas shook his head as he closed the books.

"I…I can't." Cas said, wishing he could.

"Let us help you." Sam begged. "If not both of us, at least let me."

Cas hung his head. "I'm going to….to…" He paused and set his jaw. "I can't Sam. I _just_ got you both off of their radar." He turned and peered up at Sam with his one eye.

"I'll figure this out. It will be okay. We'll all get through this." He lied. Sam's creased brow told him he didn't accept Cas's words though. Cas knew Sam was smart enough to figure out Cas was cursed if he had a chance to read through everything Cas had already. He painstakingly rose from his chair and began closing the remaining books, hoping Sam hadn't seen enough already. He shrugged off help returning them to the shelves and Sam sighed in frustration.

"Please let me help." Sam pleaded softly. "For Dean's sake."

"Don't bring him into this." Cas whispered fiercely "I did this for him. He's safe now. You both are."

"Cas…."

"No!" Cas spun to face the taller man. "I handled it. You're both safe."

"So you're just going to what, die? Then where does that leave Dean? Where does that leave Team Free Will?"

"You survived without me for most of your lives." Cas said quietly.

"But we don't want to anymore. We love you Cas. You bring light to my brother's eyes. For the first time in _years._ I give him shit but I don't want that to go out. If you die on him, it will never return."

"You don't know that…" Cas was losing his fire. He could feel the curse growing stronger. He needed to be moving quicker. He looked up at Sam, who looked on the verge of tears.

"I do know that. He's lost enough. Don't you think it's time he gets a say in things?"

"I…can't."

"Let us help you with whatever is wrong. Please."

Cas stared into Sam's eyes, fighting an inner battle that the Winchester couldn't see. Finally, he hung his head. "Okay."

"What the hell does "Cas is cursed" mean?" Dean growled at them. Cas frowned at the anger and hurt that was rolling off of Dean. The pain the other man was feeling was almost unbearable. Several days with no answer was wearing on him and Sam. Dean had finally caught them trying to research without him and demanded an answer.

"The Princes have been using a powerful curse on all of their victims, which is why we've been unable to stop them." Cas said as he held his arm across his abdomen. It hurt to move, how was he supposed to leave the bunker? "It's nothing I've seen before."

"So we find a spell book and undo their stupid mojo." Dean motioned at Cas.

"It isn't that simple Dean…" Cas began but Dean's palms slammed down onto the table with a _crack_.

"I know it isn't!" Dean snapped. "You have to try _something_ though! We can't just sit here and let you die or whatever this curse will do! Do you even know what it does?"

"It will make me turn against those I love." He lifted his eyes to hold Dean's gaze. Dean stared at him for a too-long minute before standing and striding to him. He pulled Cas against his chest roughly, and Cas stifled the gasp of pain.

"We will figure it out." Dean said and Cas just nodded against Dean's shoulder.

Cas could feel the curse grating away at his soul. He was irritable, short tempered, and hasty to spit angry words. It hurt him that this was how the brothers would remember him. He strived to keep his tongue stilled but it was like battling a hurricane. He only struggled when they were around too.

He let his head fall forward against the book on the table in front of him. The brothers had gone out to help Jody with a case, but only after Cas had insisted he was fine. His injuries from the two Princes that had captured him were finally healing. His eye was no longer swollen, just bruised. He could move easier but the wound on his abdomen was still painful. He lifted his shirt to inspect it. He could faintly see the branding burn around the knife wounds. He flashbacked to them discussing the elements which were burned into him that enacted the curse. He never told the brothers that the serious wound had been him trying to remove the burn and end the curse. If only it had been that easy.

He got up slowly and went to the kitchen. Coffee wasn't a necessity like Dean claimed, but it was good. He made a pot and waited near it while it sputtered into the pot. A shuffle of footsteps caught his ear and he spun, wishing he were armed.

Dean stood in the doorway, sadness in his gaze. "Heya Cas." He called softly as Cas relaxed.

"Why are you here, Dean?" Cas asked.

"I told Sam to go without me."

"I told _you_ I was perfectly fine."

"I know. But I wanted more time with you. In case…" Dean frowned. "In case I don't have much left."

"I'm sorry Dean." Cas hung his head. He heard Dean's soft footsteps approached before a hand under his chin pulled his face up.

"Just…promise me you'll come back? You can do that right?"

"I don't…" Cas started but he could see the desperation in Dean's eyes. "I promise."

"I love you, Castiel." Dean said, releasing Cas's chin in order to wrap an arm around his neck and bring him into a hug.

"I love you too, Dean." Cas said, returning the embrace.


	27. Lay With Me And Just Forget The World

Misha stared at the chili in the blue bowl on the table in front of him. He used his spoon to swirl it around, knowing it was cooled off enough to eat already but he just wasn't hungry. Filming over the last month had been brutal. The slow build to the curse taking Cas over was wearing on him and the rest of the crew too. The break for Thanksgiving had been wonderful, if not burdened with a cloud of stress. They were down to the only one more week of filming before he would be done. He knew Jensen was stressing about what he would be doing after Christmas, which was making Misha's decision hard. There were some fundraisers he'd been offered to run in several places, including Africa, but he wasn't sure he was up for it. He did feel ready to be somewhere else though. At least for a while…but how to tell Jensen?

The door opened and brought in Jensen and a gust of chilly air. He kind of longed for a real winter and snow. _Maybe we should go somewhere snowy for Christmas_. Misha nodded at him but returned his gaze to the bowl. He wasn't ready for the conversation that needed to happen. Jensen shrugged off his leather jacket and disappeared into the bedroom. Misha didn't realize his eyes had closed until hands appeared on his shoulders.

"I can feel your frigid hands through my shirt, man." Misha mumbled with his eyes still closed. Jensen began kneading Misha's shoulders but didn't say anything. His thumbs massaged out the knots that had been living between Misha's shoulder blades for months. Jensen focused on his neck for a while before his fingertips were replaced with lips. Misha sighed in relaxation, but Jensen paused before removing his touch all together. Misha's eyes opened finally as he turned around.

Jensen was still wearing his Dean getup, which Misha always found attractive. The green and black plaid shirt was unbuttoned to show a black tee underneath. The green in the shirt made Jensen's eyes blaze. His sleeves were rolled down, but he still looked good. Just not _as_ good as he does with them rolled up. Jensen was looking down at him but Misha had trouble deciphering his expression, which worried him. He always knew what Jensen was feeling. He pushed his chair back as he stood.

"What's wrong, Jensen?"

"I just….had a rough day I guess." He looked away, but Misha knew he that was a lie. Misha stepped forward and slipped his arms around Jensen's torso. Jensen responded immediately by wrapping his arms around Misha and taking fistfuls of Misha's sweater.

"I'm sorry." Misha murmured into Jensen's ear. Jensen nodded and tightened his grip.

 _How am I supposed to tell him I am really considering taking the fundraiser project?_ "Do you want to watch something?" Misha offered but Jensen shook his head.

"I think I'm just going to bed." Jensen stepped out of the embrace and walked to the bedroom, his hands in his pockets. Misha watched him go with a weight on his chest. He sat back down at the table to eat his cold chili while his inner voice yelled at him.

3 am rolled around sooner than Misha expected. He turned the tv off with a dejected sigh and trudged to the bedroom. He knew he should have just gone to his own trailer, but it was cold out and he didn't want to. He _wanted_ to be with Jensen. Near him. He hated himself for staying out of the bedroom for as long as he did.

He undressed in the darkness and went to the bathroom before fumbling his way to the bed. As his fingers touched the mattress, his feet tangled in discarded jeans and he fell, barely catching himself before completely wiping out. He muttered several quiet curses as he felt the bed to make sure his side was clear. He climbed in and settled under the blanket, feeling Jensen's weight pulling the mattress down but not finding his warmth so Misha reached out to find him. His hand touched bare skin towards the edge of the bed and he tried not to sigh again. _So far away._

Misha withdrew his touch and lay on his back, locking his hands behind his head as he tried to figure out how to say what he wanted to. He knew the fact that he was considering leaving in the first place was eating away at Jensen, who felt like he just _got_ Misha. Misha understood that feeling all too well. He also knew he needed a break from the set and filming.

Misha spoke softly into the silent air as Jensen's breathing evened out. He didn't want to wake Jensen but also wanted him to hear, even if he didn't remember. "I could use Christmas to travel and get my break of the set. Spend the time with you. Then by the time you need to return to finish the season out I will be okay, right? I won't feel so….unwanted." He sighed heavily. "They're only bringing me back because you threatened to leave the show. They don't care about me. Who is to say that they won't kill me off or ruin my character next season? I know the fans love Castiel's character. They'll probably start a petition to bring me back or something." Misha's smirk was short lived.

"I think I need to go to Africa, Jensen. I would love doing that, you know? Building schools and houses and helping out countless families. I just don't know how to tell you. I would want you with me. I know you have the show still. We have next summer. We have Christmas too; I need to focus on that first, right?"

He stopped talking, realizing his whisper had become his regular speaking voice. _Shit did I wake him? Did he hear any of it?_ He waited awhile, but Jensen didn't move or respond. His breathing stayed the same too. Misha closed his eyes with a sigh.

In the morning Misha woke in Jensen's arms. Jensen's face was nuzzled into Misha's hair and they were both pleasantly warm under the blankets. Misha silenced their alarms on the headboard before he hugged Jensen's arms closer around. A song popped into his head as he relaxed in the embrace and he sang it to himself. _If I just lay here, would you lie with me and just forget the world?_


	28. Open Your Eyes

There had been many times where Misha finished filming before Jensen, but there was something final about this time that tugged at Jensen's heart. He was waiting for Jared to get out of makeup for the final scene with the three of them. Misha was leaning against the wall beside him. His white shirt was bloody and he had his makeup done already. The busted lip looked so real. The exhaustion on his face was only partly faked.

Jensen was thankful that Misha had been staying in his trailer. The past several nights Misha had whispered his feelings to the air, believing Jensen to be asleep. Jensen didn't know how to put his own thoughts into words and he hated himself for leaving so much doubt and stress on Misha's shoulders because of it. He knew Misha needed the break from set. He wanted him to go, but he also hated the idea of Misha being gone so far away for so long. He wished he hadn't taken so long to acknowledge his feelings. He glanced over and found Misha frowning.

Jensen glanced down the hall before stepping in front of Misha. "Your face is liney enough, Mishka." He said softly as he reached up to smooth the deep lines on his forehead. Misha looked up with a slight smile.

"You know you like it." He said lowly.

"I do." Jensen leaned in to kiss him, but voices from the door beside them made him jump. He frowned at himself, noting the look of disappointment on Misha's face. _I am NOT ashamed to be with him. What the hell is my problem?_

Jared stepped out of the room and Jensen sighed. He wasn't looking forward to finishing this scene. He reached down and held Misha's hand as the three of them walked back to set. As they reached the Bunker, Jensen waved Jared on.

"Are you ready for this?" He asked Misha, still holding his hand.

Misha nodded as he looked up at Jensen. "No." he laughed halfheartedly and went to rub at his face but stopped, remembering the special effects makeup.

"I am ready to get this over with but I'm not ready to actually be done. If that makes sense I guess." He shrugged. Jensen lifted his free hand to run his fingers through the side of Misha's hair.

"It will be okay."

"I know." Misha said softly before turning away, pulling his hand from Jensen's as he walked onto set. Jensen stared after him for a moment before sighing and following.


	29. No Escape From Reality

Dean watched the door of his room from where he sat on his bed. He could hear Cas throwing shit around in his room and raging, but he couldn't make out what was being said. It had been going on since supper. Dean closed his eyes, hoping that the trick he had been using for the last month would work again to calm Cas.

"Cas, I need you. I need you to be here with us. You promised. You can fight this. I know you can fight this, man." He prayed under his breath. Something else crashed against the wall in Cas's room and Dean winced. "Just fight it. You're stronger. I know. Please, Cas." He focused on the pain he felt as he pleaded with the angel. His eyes snapped open when a scream of frustration sounded throughout the Bunker.

"STOP IT!" Cas yelled into the air. Dean set his jaw and stood. He heard Sam's door open then moments later Sam was knocking at Cas's door.

"Cas, buddy. It's okay. We're here. Tell us what we can do, man."

Dean couldn't hear a response through his door so he stood and opened it. As he stepped into the hallway he saw Sam in front of Cas's door. He saw the door open before Sam could knock again and then Cas emerged from his room. Dean barely registered the glint of steel before there was a gasp from Sam as he and Cas careened backwards into the wall and fell to the floor. Cas stared down at Sam before standing. As he got to his feet, he removed the long angel blade from Sam's abdomen.

Dean stared in horror, not comprehending what had just occurred. He looked at Cas and there was nothing there of his best friend. Cas sneered down at Sam as Sam tried to press his hand against the wound.

"Sammy?" Dean called, finally shaken from his haze as Sam gasped in pain. Cas snapped his focus to Dean and Dean took a step back at the hatred painted there.

"Cas, it's okay."

"It's not _okay,_ Dean. You don't understand. You never do. You're just a dumb grunt that is only good for mediocre sex."

Dean tried to ignore the words, let them wash over him. _But how long has he thought that?_ "Cas, I don't want to hurt you. Let me help my brother."

"No, Dean. I don't want to do that. He can bleed there." Cas motioned to Sam with the blade and it flung drops of blood against the wall over Sam's head. "All you two ever do it screw everything up. The world will be better off without the Winchesters."

"You don't mean that." Dean said as he tried to stalk around Cas, who was blocking the hallway. He held his dripping angel blade to the side in a loose grip, but Dean knew that laid back look was deceiving. Cas was deadly as hell.

"You should know better than that." Cas growled before he launched himself at Dean. Dean ducked under the swing and immediately spun, lashing out with his fist only to have it blocked by Cas's arm. Cas reached low to deliver a punch but Dean danced around it and spun out of the angel's grip. Now Dean was between Cas and Sam, which is where he should have been from the start. He glanced back at his brother, who was breathing shakily and trying to hold the wound on his back now as well. _Shit._

Motion caught Dean's eye and he barely ducked as the angel blade cut the air where Dean's chest had been. He roughly pushed Cas away and repositioned himself in front of Sam. Cas looked up with dead blue eyes.

"You should know how this will end. You won't kill me. You chose me over your own brother. "

Dean clenched his jaw and stared Cas down. He refused to play the mind games Cas was throwing. _This isn't him._ Cas lunged again, this time catching the front of Dean's t-shirt enough that it ripped and left a bloody scratch down his front. Dean jumped back but Cas recovered and followed, throwing punches with both hands and lashing out with his bare feet. Dean could see the wound on Cas's stomach was bleeding again. He made himself focus as Cas almost stabbed him again.

Sam started sputtering from his spot against the wall. He called out for Dean, but there was no way Dean could get to him. With a cry of anguish he shoved Cas back and stalked forward. This needed to end. He grappled for the angel blade for another minute, both landing punches and kicks. Dean's eye was swelling and his lip bled enough to coat the inside of his mouth. Cas was breathing raggedly but was otherwise seemingly fine. Suddenly, Cas's knee to Dean's crotch made him see stars. He dropped to one knee after managing to shove Cas back again.

Cas brought the angel blade downwards towards Dean who reacted instinctively and used his crossed wrists to block it. In the same motion, Dean lunged upwards and took hold of the blade. He wrenched it from Cas's grasp while pushing the angel backwards against the wall opposite of Sam. He used his taller frame to pin Cas against the wall. Cas used his hands to push against Dean's arms, keeping the blade from piercing his skin.

"I don't want to do this, Cas." Dean managed to say as Cas pushed against him. His heart raged at him while his mind told him Sammy wasn't going to make it if this didn't end. He felt Cas exhale and he looked up to meet Cas's sky blue eyes. His face was a mask of pain as he looked at Dean.

"I still love you, Dean." Cas ground out roughly before the pressure of his hands disappeared and the angel blade slammed into his chest so hard it hit the cement wall behind.

"NO!" Dean yelled as blue light flashed in Cas's eyes and mouth, flickering several times before the burnt image of Cas's dark wings painted the wall like a decoration.

"No, Cas!" Dean yelled again, yanking the blade away and throwing it as he caught the limp body. He gathered Cas in his arms as tears blurred his vision. Before he was able to let out the sob that was building, a weak voice called out his name.

"dean…." Sam said softly, reaching his blood soaked hand to his brother. Dean sobbed once as he struggled out from under Cas's body and crawled across the hall to his brother.

"I- I got you Sammy." Dean said through his tears as he lifted his little brother. "You'll be okay." He whispered as Sam went limp.


	30. I Didn't Mean To Make You Cry

Misha sighed as he slipped Castiel's trench coat onto a hanger and stuck it in the wardrobe closet for the last time. He hadn't had to wear it for several episodes, but it had been in Cas's room. He had just finished filming his actual last scene, one of the ones leading up to Cas's death. Everyone else had left for the night already, but he stalled. He ran his hands down the sleeve, feeling a part of his heart break at the thought of not wearing it again. _It's been such a long day, but I don't want it to end._ He let the sleeve drop and turned away. He only made it to the door before he returned and pulled the coat from the hanger and folded it over his arm.

His heart ached as he walked through the set one last time _._ He smiled as he meandered through the Bunker kitchen. His stomach grumbled reminding him he hadn't eaten all day. Again. He took a deep breath, and closed his eyes as he tried to store the smell and the sights of the Bunker set in his mind. He knew he could return to hang out, but he didn't feel that he would. At least not _on_ set.

He ran his hand across the large table and headed for the exit. _You can do this._ As he reached the edge of the set, music drifted through the Bunker and his steps faltered. He waited a moment and his curiosity peaked, so he followed the sound through the set.

He paused outside of Dean's door. A rush of memories hit him from his time on the set, in _this_ room. The song that floated through on the acoustic guitar was familiar, but he couldn't quite place it until Jensen's voice began singing.

They say don't let them in  
Close your eyes and clear your thoughts again  
But when I'm all alone, they show up on their own

Jensen paused to clear his throat and Misha realized he hadn't been breathing. He quietly gulped in air as he listened. Jensen was singing in a lower key than the song played on the radio, but it tugged at Misha's already tremulous emotions. He leaned against the wall out of view of the door as Jensen continued.

'Cause inner demons fight their battles with fire  
Inner demons don't play by the rules  
They say "Just push them down, just fight them harder  
Why would you give up on it so soon?"

So angels, angels please just keep on fighting  
Angels don't give up on me today  
'Cause the demons they are there, they just keep biting  
'Cause inner demons just won't go away

Misha wiped at his eyes. _God he's so into this song right now. I want to just hug him._ He scrubbed his hands through his hair and wondered if this was Jensen singing or if it were Dean, though he knew the answer. _He's singing this because of you._ He leaned his head back against the wall and closed his eyes as he listened to the emotion in the lyrics.

So angels please, hear my prayer  
Life is pain, life's not fair  
So angels please, please stay here  
Take the pain, take the fear

They say it won't be hard, but they can't see the battles in my heart

Jensen's fingers stilled against the strings of his guitar as he clenched his jaw, fighting the whirling emotions in his chest. _This damn song._ It had played on the radio a few days before and it just felt….right. Even if it didn't exactly convey what he felt. He took a slow breath and let it out before replaying the chorus until he was sure he knew where he was at. It needed to be perfect. He had no words to explain to Misha what was going on inside of his head. Maybe he would be able to talk out his thoughts better once he sang it. When he began singing again, his voice was stronger, if not a little thick.

But when I turn away

The demons seem to stay

Cause inner demons don't play well with angels

Jensen smiled as he pictured Misha the first day on set. _God he was so…different. And new. Such a strong presence in an ugly ass sweater._ His smile faded as he finished the verse, though his mind was still focused on Misha.

They cheat and lie and steal and break and bruise

Angels please protect me from these rebels

This is a battle I don't want to lose

So angels, angels please just keep on fighting

Angels don't give up on me today

Cause the demons they are there; they keep on fighting

Cause inner demons just won't go away

He opened his eyes and focused on a spot on the wall across from his perch on Dean's bed. It was getting harder to form the words as his throat tightened. He swallowed several times to clear it before continuing. _C'mon is just practice. You're gonna cry when he's actually here?_

Angels, angels please keep on fighting

Angels don't give up on me today

Cause the demons; they are there

They keep on fighting

Inner demons just won't go away

Jensen's voice lowered as he closed his eyes and poured his heart into the final verses. He wanted Misha there. He wanted Misha to understand his thoughts even though he didn't completely understand them himself.

So Angel please, hear my prayer

Life is pain; life's not fair

So Angel please; please stay here

Take the pain; take the fear

The final chords reverberated through the air as Jensen finished the song. He took a shaky breath and let it out slowly. He jumped when he heard a sniffle that was definitely _not_ his. He turned to the door as he heard a voice curse lightly.

After a moment, Misha stepped into the doorway. Those brilliant blue eyes were rimmed in red. He wore Cas's telltale white shirt and crooked tie and the trench coat was folded over his arm. Jensen had known he was on set filming some of the scenes leading to the end, but he didn't realize Misha was still there so late. Everyone had left an hour ago.

It was obvious that Misha had run his hands through his dark hair and the fan's term "sex hair" ricocheted through Jensen's mind. His face heated as he realized Misha had probably heard the whole, horribly practice. _Shit._

"Jensen." Misha said in a voice barely above a whisper. Jensen shrugged with a forced half smile and turned away. He didn't hear Misha approach, but suddenly the mattress sank as Misha sat.

"Jensen, that was beautiful." Misha said, trying to get Jensen to look at him. "Absolutely amazing."

"I screwed up a lot." Jensen said with a frown, knowing he wasn't talking about just the song. He looked up at Misha, whose face was inches away. "I have screwed up. I'm sorry it took me so long. To be with you but also to talk. But Misha…" He trailed off, unsure of what he was trying to say. _This was supposed to happen in a few nights. Not right now. I'm not ready._

Misha sighed shakily and sat up straight, taking his face with him. Jensen missed the closeness. _Just tell him._

"Mishka…?" He called softly. Misha let his head fall back a little and rolled his eyes over to look at Jensen sideways. Jensen felt a smile tug at his lips.

"Mi…I… This song." He lifted his guitar slightly but let it back down as his mouth and brain fought over what to say. "I…don't." He paused again and closed his eyes. "Misha, I don't want you to leave."

Misha was silent beside him. Jensen wished he could just tell Misha everything in his head and heart, but he didn't know how. He remembered the first time Misha slept over in his trailer and he pretended to be asleep as Misha woke. He remembered the sun cutting through the blinds and revealing their hands entwined. All of the nights where his anxiety-led nightmares turned from terrifying to Misha or Castiel being there, calming him and chasing the terror. Cas pulling him into countless livestreams. Making him run a marathon. Night spent in his arms. Jensen dropped his gaze.

"I need you to stay, man. You're my best friend. You're more than that. I love you, Misha. I can't handle half the shit that's thrown at me without you." He paused and turned to Misha to find blue eyes searching his.

"But I understand that you need this. I wouldn't be okay with you staying here just for me and being miserable, you know? I think you should go to Africa. You are the most amazing man I've ever met. You've touched so many lives. Saved so many people. You need to be able to continue that. I'll be here. I'll always be here for you." The memory of Misha saying that to him all those months ago after Jared's accident in Rome hit him.

Misha blinked and a tear escaped his long lashed before he leaned forward, pulling Jensen into a hug. Jensen buried his face in Misha's neck and fought back the sob that wanted out as he let his guitar slide to the floor so he could hug his best friend.

"I love you too, Jensen. So much." Misha whispered. "I'll come back. I'll always choose you, man."

Jensen felt tears slide down his cheeks as he hugged Misha to him roughly. He could understand the term "heartbreak" well now, because that's exactly what it felt like was happening inside his chest.

"We have Christmas break still." Misha said. "Gen's birthday party in January too. I won't leave until after that."

Jensen nodded into Misha's shoulder as several tears were soaked up by Misha's shirt. When they finally pulled back, Misha motioned to the guitar.

"Will you sing that for me again please?" He asked. Jensen chuckled and picked up the guitar.

"You weren't supposed to hear that one. That was shitty practice."

"That was the furthest thing from shit that I've ever heard." Misha said sternly before scooting back to give Jensen room. "Besides, I like hearing you call me angel." Misha grinned mischievously. Jensen shook his head with a smile and began playing the tune again. The song started and he glanced over to find Misha's beautiful smile directed towards him. _I'm not going to lose him._


	31. MOVING TO A03

Hey all. If you've read up to this point THANK YOU! Truly, I adore you.

However, I abhor this site. The file manager is so frustrating and I don't know how to reply directly to reviews and I just don't like it. I have everything, and more, on AO3 and I urge you to follow me over there. I love hearing from you and Ao3 is so much easier. Let me know if you follow me there and please review!

/users/Caffeine_Chaos243


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